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A small smile graces his face before it falls away again. Was he thinking of a little mini us?
“I would have been thrilled to become a father.”
I force a smile, squeezing his hand. “I know you would have.”
Then I ask what has been playing on my mind. “The doctor said sometimes fertility drugs can cause a false positive test result.” I watch him as he processes the information. “Did you put anything in my food?”
His eyes only show surprise. “What? No! It’s true I wanted you pregnant, but we wouldn’t have needed help with that.”
“It’s not such a long shot to assume. You’ve drugged me with sedatives a few times. You putting something in my food or drink to make me more fertile isn’t such a stretch of the imagination.”
“I didn’t, angel. I promise.”
I believe him. He wouldn’t lie to me like this.
“I’ve looked into your fiancé’s background. He has quite an impressive military record. He hid you well from me.”
“Tiero…” I interject, but I’m not sure what I want to say.
“Shhh, angel. Please let me talk.” Taking my hands, he guides me back to the bed and we sit down. His fingers intertwine with mine, his thumb slowly caresses the top of my hand, my skin humming where he’s touching. And welcome back, my friends, the traitorous goosebumps.
I stare into his hazel-brown eyes and get swallowed up in their intensity once more.
“The weeks without you have been torture. Not knowing where you were and if you were well and safe… it’s been driving me crazy. Any number of things could have happened to you.
“I had men all over Europe searching for you. Uberto’s team has been working non-stop to find a trace. And every day they came up empty-handed. I’ve never felt despair like that. My life seemed pretty pointless without you. The only thing that kept me going was the determination to find you.”
Scalding guilt consumes me, hearing the effects my leaving had on him. I drop my head. “I’m so sorry, Tiero. I never…neverwant to hurt you. I love you. I love you forever, you know that!”
Why did I just admit that? Oh, fool I am! This might make him only more resolute to take me back with him.
He takes my face into his hands, his gaze scorching. “I love you, angel,” he whispers, and the sincerity and earnestness of his words has my stomach somersaulting.
“I love you more than life itself. I cannot imagine being without you.” The raw emotion in his voice is like a lightning strike to my heart, slicing it open, and the tears well up again.
No, dammit, no more crying.
“I haven’t been able to sleep since you ran from me. I’ve been sitting under the stars at night, trying to understand how I fucked up so badly. I would stare up at the sky, imagining you did the same wherever you were and that we were connected that way.”
That makes me smile. “I often did,” I admit, as Tiero hands me a handkerchief to dry my eyes.
“Mateo joined me a few times. He had a few things to say about my behavior towards you, and he was right.”
“Oh?”
“He made me realize I went about it the wrong way…”
My breath falters. Oh my god, is Tiero about to apologize? That would be a first.
“I’m so sorry, angel. Taking you from your old life the way I did was cruel. I see that now. It’s something I will forever regret. It made you hate me, and—”
“Stop, Tiero,” I say, his self-loathing tearing me apart. “Was what you did fucked up? Definitely. Was I furious with you? Absolutely. But I could never hate you. Never.”
“I shouldn’t have dragged you into my world. You should have never experienced its horrors. I was selfish. I didn’t consider the effects my life would have on you.
“All I wanted and still want is you in my life. But my world is dark.” Tiero’s forehead creases as he speaks, and he looks away before his gaze returns to me.
“You are the light, Ella… my dea splendente… my bright, shining goddess. I was lucky enough to bask in your light for a little while. And perhaps I deserve it… deserve to be condemned to a life of darkness. It’s my karma for the suffering I’ve caused.”
