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“What aren’t you telling me?” His voice is more demanding now, his eyes scrutinizing. “You look exhausted. And you’ve lost weight in only a few short days.”
Fuck, how is he still so astute?
Tell him.
No. There’s no way I’m going to tell him I’m dying too. I will not burden him with this. I want him secure in the knowledge I’m well and happy. Taking a deep breath, I plaster on a smile.
But Tiero won’t have it. Maneuvering the bed to a slightly more upright position, he pins me with his stare. “Don’t shut me out, Ella. Tell me.”
His tone elicits my first genuine smile. It’s a relief to see Mr. Bossy Don is still alive in him. “Tell me,” Tiero commands again.
I swallow hard. Should I?
“Stop debating with yourself and tell me the truth,” he says, softer this time.
With a heavy sigh, I slump back in my chair, squeezing the bridge of my nose. “I’m not long for this earth either,” I whisper.
Tiero’s face falls. “What do you mean? Are you sick?”
And there go the tears again. I nod as a new barrage of emotions hits me all at once.
Somehow, telling Tiero makes this real, makes it an unavoidable reality.
Up to this point, I’ve numbly accepted my fate. But at the same time, have been in denial that something like this could truly be happening to me.
Now, it’s like I’m watchingSpeedwith Sandra Bullock—just that I’m the driver of the bus barreling towards the missing section of the bridge… just I don’t think my bus will fly and bridge that gap. This is real life, not a movie.
I am doomed.
Only a miracle will save me.
At the realization, my heart beat jumps erratically, and I clutch my chest, trying to steady my breath.
“Ella?” Tiero’s shaky voice is full of concern. “What’s wrong with you?”
My eyes lift to his. The panic I see in them is sobering.
“My heart…” I hiccup. “My heart is damaged. It could give out at any time. I need a transplant.”
Tiero blinks a few times, his shocked expression making me doubt I did the right thing telling him. He doesn’t need this worry. But how could I hide this from him, when I’m sitting here, holding my chest as if this could contain my heart and calm it down?
“What is being done to find you a heart?”
The question makes the erratic thrumming in my chest become painful… the bus is closing in on the gap in the highway.
Panic.
Disbelief.
Doom.
My vision going fuzzy, my head suddenly unbearably heavy. The strength to keep my body upright draining from me with every erratic beat of my foiled heart.
My hand goes into my pocket, fumbling for the panic button, pushing down on it with trembling fingers.
“Ella? Ella? Are you okay?” Tiero’s panicked voice rings through my muddled consciousness. He’s trying to sit up and reach for me, but the tubes and cables make it impossible. “Angel? Talk to me.”
I can’t. I have no voice.
