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Do you remember?
I was electrified. I had visions of you buying that treasure-box at a village fair, of writing that note, and wrapping it up, sending it to the orphanage. I sensed it was when your family moved to Ireland.
And I knew for sure it was from you, even though you introduced yourself as Ashley.
Now that’s a bit to digest.
So I’ll leave this story here. Go and get the heart, make yourself a cup of licorice tea, and then I’ll tell you the rest.
My dear Ash,
Now that you’re sitting comfortably, have the heart from the ashram with you and your favorite cup of tea, we are ready to dive into the rest of the story.
It’s a story about how one soul became three.
I’ll put it like this, Ash.
There once was a person who was very very powerful. Instinctive, with a sharp mind and a passionate heart. A real mover and shaker. It was in India, in the colonial times.
My teacher, Master Sachinanda was there too. He is an old one. He was this person’s friend. He was trying to help back then. He still is.
This historical person had many responsibilities, connections and relationships; it wasn’t all on easy street. He could be very violent, though, no more than was expected in those times. You can imagine that some of those relationships soured, which threatened a loss of power and prestige.
Troubled by this, he decided to resist the use of violence and become more diplomatic, abstaining from the use of force. With Master’s help he turned to a path of light, dismissing everything dark in his personality as abhorrent. But it came at a terrible cost.
You see, this person’s greatest treasure was his wife. He loved her with an obsessive passion. In an act of retribution, she was murdered. They first cut out her tongue to stop her from screaming and then slit her throat and left her to bleed out.
She was my ancestor.
The loss of his wife in such horrible circumstances, as a result of his own choices, led to a split in his personality. The head stood its ground, “It wasn’t my fault.” The light there got lighter, but it wasn’t grounded. It was escapism.
In the heart, the darkness grew from the lack of light and the loss of its beloved.
Being more aloof from conscious thought, the instincts remained balanced, intact.
So after death, this personality couldn’t be reconciled. The parts didn’t fit together anymore. The heart wanted to use its instincts for evil, and the head wanted to use its instincts for good.
So in this life, you were reborn as three different people. You, Ash, represent the light. Your boyfriend around the time I met you, probably European, represents the dark, and a third person you may have met by now represents the proper balance of light and dark, which is the play of life itself. He has mostly mastered it, realizing that the one can be the cause of the other. This third person represents balanced grounded instincts.
Do you see you had to unite with your European boyfriend, be completely engulfed by him, lose yourself to him before you could find the third aspect of your real self? Your real “One.” The oneness of your own soul. Your life’s purpose.
You and your European friend are quite opposite. Why do you think he can’t let go of you? You are his salvation; you soothe him. You calm him down. You balance him. You are opposites, but you complement each other.
He makes you feel like you are alive. You are almost, but not completely, powerless against him. But you need to understand that you and he gave rise to each other. When you take light from the dark, the dark gets darker. When you take dark from the light, it gets too light. That’s what’s happened to you, my dear. You’ve been too much in your head.
Your mission in life was to reunite your three parts. By the time you’re reading this, you maybe have gotten there. You helped to bring your European friend’s dark, passionate heart into the light. His dark passion pulled you out of your head and saved your life. His heart will be yours.
Have you found your black swan? Are you in love?
Your instincts will serve you well, Ash. Trust them.
