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Is this an emergency?
But even with the panic still coursing through my body, I don’t want to use it. I know this is all in my head. Tiero’s henchmen are not going to come up behind me and say “buona sera,” or inject me with some sedative to make me black out.
It’s part of this exercise to face your demons, isn’t it? To show yourself you can do this and come out the other end as a stronger person.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
If I repeat this often enough, I’ll believe it, right?
I’m rocking myself slowly. It soothes babies and small children. Surely, it ought to work for adults too. Or is that only true if somebody else does it to you? Fuck, I don’t know. I sure don’t feel any better.
Happy thoughts… think happy thoughts. But my mind it completely blank.
Rustling behind me has the hairs on my neck stand to attention. I freeze, turning my head to listen more closely.
There is that noise again.
It’s probably just an animal.
But what kind of animal?
A gentle rustling of leaves… It sounds like footsteps, light footsteps.
My breathing turns shallow again. God, I’ll be hyperventilating any moment. Swallowing hard, I slowly turn around to face the forest from where the noise is coming from.
Two eyes glinting yellow are coming closer and closer.
Oh god! What is that?
I clutch my chest as my heart is galloping away.Wait, heart! Take me with you. I don’t want to be here anymore.
My eyes are laser focused on the creature. Is this a wolf? Do they have wolves here? If they do, they never hunt alone. I frantically turn in a circle, scanning my surroundings. But there’s nothing to be seen. I grab a branch from my pile and hold it into the fire.
Come on, come on. Start burning.
When it finally does, I hold it in front of me, using it as a weapon. It’s the only thing I can think of.
As the creature approaches, it looks like a large cat, it’s movements graceful and precise.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Is this some sort of mountain lion or leopard?
No, it can’t be. It’s not big enough for that. It now circles my campsite, eyes trained on me. “I’m too big for you to eat,” I yell at it. But it keeps circling, hissing, and growling.
“Help!” I yell from the top of my lungs.
Shit, where’s the next closest camp? And who’s there? Can they hear me? “Help!” I yell again louder.
The creature circles closer. It has spots… shit, what has spots? Cheetahs? But they’re in Africa, aren’t they? And they’re much bigger than what’s sizing me up.
“Help!” I scream again and again. Then I remember the phone in my pocket. This is definitely an emergency. But to reach it, I’d have to put down my torch stick and I’m not going to do that.
I follow the cat with my body, my flaming torch outstretched in front of me. It doesn’t seem to be afraid of the fire. Why isn’t it afraid of the fire?!
Adrenaline is pumping through my veins, my blood pressure going through the roof.
God, my head spins. This constant turning in circles is disorientating me.
