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‘It could be a gift,’ he said. ‘From his older sister. It’ll remind us to talk to him about Abi from the start. That way he’ll absorb the knowledge over time and accept it without trauma.’
I no longer trust his reasons. I never wanted to keep the sloth. I should have burned it like I wanted to, along with this pram.
I put Mr Sloth on top of the pram. At the front door, I breathe deeply and place my hand on the catch. One glance in the hall mirror has me digging out my sunglasses. I look like I’ve gone ten rounds in the boxing ring.
Sunglasses on. You can do this, Ava. You’ve faced your neighbours once, you can do it again. Besides, it’s early for a Sunday. There will be no one about.
Both feet barely on the front path and my stomach heats with anxiety at the noise of a door slamming shut. To my relief, it is only Jen emerging from her house, her two girls with her.
‘Ava,’ she calls and waves. She too is wearing sunglasses. Hers are large, expensive. ‘A bit worse for wear this morning, I can tell you.’ She laughs – she has an infectious, deep cackle I wish I could match.
I push the pram to the end of their drive. ‘Thanks so much for last night,’ I manage. ‘I really had a lovely time. Much better than I thought, if you know what I mean. Thank you. Hi, girls.’
They smile, both reaching for their mother, one hand each.
‘Sorry I left without saying goodbye,’ I add.
‘Oh for God’s sake,’ she says, waving it off. ‘Don’t even give it a second thought. Leaving when you did was a good move though. We got rid of the last guests at four in the morning.’
‘Four? Oh my God. Who?’
‘Louise – you know Louise Parker? And Pete from over the road, and your friend Bella.’
‘Bella stayed till four in the morning?’
Jen nods. ‘She was… she was well oiled, let’s say.’
‘Bloody hell. I bet Neil will have something to say about that.’
‘I think he might have tried to retrieve her at about one, but she was having none of it.’
‘Oh no. Did they fall out?’
Jen shakes her head. ‘Bit of a drunken argument on the front step, I think, but she didn’t seem upset or anything when she came back. Pete walked her home. He’s such a gent.’
We smile. I wonder if she detects any strangeness in me. Because I feel very strange.
‘Can I ask you something?’ The words are out before I’ve reflected on the wisdom of saying them.
‘Sure.’
‘It’s about Abi actually.’
She frowns. The merest glance towards her girls.
‘It’s nothing really,’ I say. ‘I was just wondering when you left that morning? Sorry, I mean the morning Abi…’
Behind her, Johnnie emerges from the house; the garage door lifts and he ducks inside. ‘Erm,’ Jen says, her brow furrowing. ‘It will have been eight-ish. Why?’
‘No real reason. I was wondering if you saw Matt at all, on his bike?’ I want to say more, to add that he was coming back for his raincoat, but I don’t dare.
‘No, sorry. I thought he came back a bit later? Didn’t he have a puncture that day?’
I nod, too quickly, too many times. ‘Yes. Yes, he did.’
The Porsche comes purring out, Johnnie, in shades, at the wheel. He stops and gets out. He’s dressed in black again, although he has changed to a short-sleeved linen shirt, loose long linen shorts and designer flip-flops. A sheen of sweat lies slick on his forehead, but other than that, he looks the definition of unruffled.
‘Ava,’ he says, picking up Cosima and opening the back door of the car.
