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He grunts.
‘Didn’t go well I take it?’
He shakes his head. Another grunt. He rubs at the back of his head. His eyes are bloodshot, that woman in every crimson filigree.
Joyce plucks the damp dishcloth from her overall pocket and rubs the flecks of paint from her fingers.
‘I met her,’ he says, his voice small. ‘Just for coffee. I had to know.’
‘And?’
His eyes fill. ‘He’s mine. The baby. Tommy. He’s my son.’
‘Right.’ She sighs. ‘Right.’ Waits. Feels a little dizzy. ‘My God, she’s a piece of work.’
Sam covers his eyes with his hand. ‘At first she denied it. But then she came clean.’ He takes his hand away and meets Joyce’s gaze once again, his brow creased, worried. ‘I hurt her. Worse than I ever imagined. She’s had to do it all on her own. In the middle of a pandemic. It must’ve been terrible for her, terrible. No wonder she—’
‘She should’ve told you, love. I can imagine it’s been hard. But she should have told you the moment she found out. She had no right, no right at all to—’
‘But I get it,’ he interrupts. ‘I dropped her like a stone. I pretended she didn’t exist.’
‘You weren’t to know!’ Gingerly Joyce peels off her overalls, inside out so as not to get paint on the floor tiles. She folds them and places them on the old kitchen table before sitting down next to him. ‘I’ve seen her moves, don’t forget. She’s a tricky one, very tricky, and this is straight out of her handbook.’
‘But you don’t know what I was like. I was very… I wasn’t easy either. I hurt her before I even left.’
‘Hurt her how? Physically?’
‘No! But I didn’t talk. I was… a wall, she said.’
‘You gave her the silent treatment? What, on purpose?’
‘No! No, I would never… I just didn’t know what to say sometimes when she was pissed off at me. Sometimes I was preoccupied with some problem at work or engrossed in a painting or a book or something. Sometimes I just wanted to be left in peace, you know? I never tried to punish her, but I think… I think she felt like maybe I was ignoring her. Or like I didn’t take any notice of her.’
‘Oh for God’s sake, that’s not enough of a reason to keep your flesh and blood from you!’ But, she thinks, it’s enough of a reason to make a woman cross. Joyce knows what it is to be ignored. Once the courting was over, living with Hugh was like living with a potato. A drunk potato. She told him as much when she threw him out, lines she’d rehearsed while she waited for him to come stumbling home one last time.You’ve had your chips, Hugh Moore, she said.Now bugger off. He didn’t laugh, but boy, she did; she laughed for weeks. But she doesn’t like to think of her own grandson treating his partner like that. ‘It’s not good to ignore a woman, love,’ she adds. ‘We need a bit of attention now and then. I’m not excusing her, mind. Dreadful behaviour.’
‘Maybe I wasn’t ready to see her side of it, you know? And there’s something different about her now, there really is. I can’t explain it. Now she’s a mother…’
‘I know. I know, love. Two sides to every story and no one’s all bad, even her. It still makes my blood boil though. No decency. No sense of right and wrong.’ She makes herself calm down, pats his hand. ‘So what’s next?’
‘She doesn’t want me to see him. The baby.’
‘What?Oh for heaven’s sake, she can’t do that!’
He holds up a hand: stop. ‘I know. I know that.’
‘I’ll give Paul Thompson a ring. He’s not family law, but he’ll know who to ask.’
‘No. No lawyers. I know you’re trying to help, but let me handle it, OK? Let me… let me stand on my own two feet. She stormed off, but she always used to do that, and I’m thinking if I just leave her, she’ll calm down and hopefully we can sort it out.’ He meets her gaze, pleading with her.
‘I suppose amicable is always best, if that’s what you want. But if she doesn’t do the right thing, we’ll have to fight her. If that woman thinks she’s going to keep your son from you, it’ll be over my dead body.’
CHAPTER 14
Dear Sam,
So now I’ve confirmed your suspicions, as they say. I almost didn’t. I only made up my mind at the last second. Funny how shocked you looked, considering I was telling you what you already knew.
So now here we are.
