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"Sleep is not an option," Ronin replied. He knew he had to do something, but he didn't know what. He was restless and needed to get away from it all.
“Ye are worrying over nothing,” Lachlan said yet again, trying his best to reassure him but it was pointless. It would have been fine if Edna hadn't seen him with a sword drawn against her cousin. But all he could think about now was what Lachlan had told him. Her father had been murdered when she was a child. Ronin's father and family were to blame for her loss. He'd never felt more guilty.
“It is not nothing, Lachlan. You know perfectly well that I am worried about her,” Ronin replied, anger trailing at the edge of his tone.
“Why exactly are ye worried about her?” Lachlan questioned, his voice mirroring the bewilderment he must have felt.
“You yourself told me that my father killed hers. I need to speak with her. I need to know if she is alright. I need to ask her how these past ten years have been for her because I know what losing a father feels like. My life has been nothing but the absolute worst after father’s death, and I wouldn’t wish upon anyone to feel that way. I just need to meet with her,” Ronin said truthfully.
“Why dae ye care about her so much? Are ye in love with her after just one meeting?”
Lachlan's question compelled himto consider that possibility. He couldn't imagine himself in love, but the symptoms he was experiencing were typical of a man in love. He couldn't stop thinking about her, his thoughts circling her eyes andsmile. All he could think about since she left was how beautiful and innocent she looked when she smiled, and what he would give to be the subject of those dark eyes again. He was a man in love. There was no longer any doubt, but there was more to it. He was genuinely concerned for her and curious about her life. He had to keep in mind that he was also the man whose father had killed her father, and their families were bitter enemies. Even if he were in love, how far could it go? Wouldshe ever love him back?
The tumult of questions that were invading his thoughts, making him feel on edge, made him feel as if his mind would explode. He needed tosee her. Right now, this was the only solution to his problem.
“I am going to see her,” Ronin announced.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Ronin. Ye cannae just see her whenever ye please. Do ye even ken where she lives?” Lachlan asked, sounding furious.
“You will tell me where she lives.”
“I will do no such thing,” Lachlan blatantly refused but Ronin had already expected that. “What will ye even say tae her?”
"I should apologize for what I did.I need her to understand that I had no intention of hurting her cousin and that he was the one who prompted the fight. I can't let what she saw change her mind about me. I need to sit her down and explain everything or I'll go mad.Then I need to ask her every question that is going through my mind right now," Ronin explained passionately, confident that his plan would work.
“Ye are forgetting that she doesn’t give two shites about her cousin, but she does care about her papa. And yer papa killed him. Nae matter what ye say or do, her opinion of ye has already been altered, and ye cannae change that fact,” Lachlan said; sounding more pessimistic than ever.
“What if she doesn’t know that I am the son of the man that killed her father?” Ronin asked seriously. He was certain that Bryce had no idea who he was and neither did anyone else. He had just returned so none of them could possibly know.
“Okay, maybe she doesn’t ken right now, but how long do ye think this truth will remain concealed? It is bound to come forth sooner or later, especially when ye finally become laird,” Lachlan reasoned, and Ronin knew he was right. He had no choice. He couldn't ruin the present by worrying about what could go wrong in the future.
Heknew that if he stayed and listened to Lachlan, he would never be able to apologize to her. It was past time for him to take matters into his own hands and do exactly what he desired. The only thing that could help him and his relationship with Edna was this. After Lachlan's discouragement, he rolled his eyes and waved goodbye before exiting the bedchamber.
He knew he had to be cautious and leave safely because he couldn't risk his mother finding out where he was headed to. He tiptoed swiftlyto the stable, where he chose a horse and climbed atop it. He moved slowly towards the castle's gate, his gaze falling on the guard standing there. Ronin drew his horse closer to him, standing up in rapt attention.
He pondered how he could find out where Edna lived. He couldn't just go ask anyone where her house was because everyone knew about the feud between their families. He had to be careful with his questions.
“Do you know who Bryce is?” Ronin asked, hoping that the young guard knew him.
“He is a member of the clan, my laird,” the guard replied, and Ronin nodded encouragingly.
“Where does he live?”
"Across the burn on the other side," the guard replied, which only meantEdna did notlive with him. She had arrived at the pub without him, and they happened to meet by chance.
“Does his family live with him?
“My laird, as far as I ken, he does not have a family of his own. His only relatives are a woman and her daughter who live alone,” the guard answered, and Ronin rejoiced silently.
“Where do they live?”
“Go straight through the woods and keep travelling on the man-made path. Take a left from the first turn and the house will be the third dwelling on yer left,” the guard explained in detail and Ronin nodded.
“Thank you. Make sure that no one finds out that I am leaving, or else I will have your throat,” Ronin threatened as the scared lad nodded. Ronin accelerated his horse's pace through the woods, his thoughts still on Edna.
He continued to wonder what she was doing or thinking. He wished she was thinking about him in the same way he was. He desired her love and attention and wanted to beg her to give it to him completely. He only needed to speak with her and explain everything that had happened.
Her laughter was still ringing in his ears, and the sound was mildly soothing. He needed to hear it again and look at her smiling face. Ronin could still feel the softness of her pink lips touching his. Her flavor lingered in his mind, and he replayed those few moments incessantly. Her memories boosted his confidence and fueled his desire to see her right away.
