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Edna forgot to breathe for a few seconds and had to stop walking to take in the information. She remembered the incident as if it were yesterday. She remembered how that drunk, lifeless man with no morals had marched forward and murdered her father in front of the entire clan on a holy and joyous occasion. She remembered the blood, thescreams, and pain before everything turned black. She'd never forget.
She had lived with the memory of that moment for the last ten years and had suffered day and night because of it. She had seen her mother suffer as well. She could never forgive or forget anyone from that family, anyone linked to the man who had ruined her life.
“Edna. Are ye okay?” Bryce asked when he noticed that she was no longer beside him. He walked back to where she stood and held her shoulders. She looked up at him and nodded, assuring him she was alright.
She was certain that Bryce was not lying. He surely had no bad intentions toward her. He had been there for her and her mother through every up and down, thick and thin. Edna knew.
“What happened there?” she asked once again.
“I saw that blonde-haired lad staring at ye and ye staring back at him. Now I know that ye are innocent, but the lad was cunning as hell and I am certain he knew exactly who ye were,” Bryce said.
“But ye don’t even ken who he is! What if he isn't related to Lachlan or the McKenzies and was just a friend?" Edna inquired, attempting to justify Ronin. Her heart was convinced he was innocent, and she wasn't sure if she was just comforting herself while also attempting to persuade Bryce. Whatever the case, she hadn't feltthat Ronin was deceiving her or manipulating her in any way. His feelings for her had seemed genuine, and Edna was certain that there was no malice behind them.
“Ye are too innocent, Edna. If he was with Lachlan, he must be related to the family or is probably someone close to them. Lachlan is a good-for-nothing, young lad whose only job is to get involved in brawls and flirt with lasses. He is not a good person, and any friend of his can’t be all that good either. And besides, these boys are our enemies. It is better if ye stay away from them,” Bryce said once again although he still hadn’t told her how the fight had started.
She was aware that the entire situation was unnecessarily confusingand that she wouldn't be able to make much sense of it unless Bryce was more forthcoming about what had happened between them.She knew what she felt in Ronin's armswas real, but she wished she hadn't gone to the pub in the first place. Then she would never have met him, and there would have been nothing to fuel more animosity between him and her cousin, resulting in the fight she had just witnessed.
Bryce expected her to stay away from him, but after considering the feelings that had been awakened in her, she didn't believe this was possible. There was something about Ronin that drew her in, that completely captivated her, and she had no desire to be away from him. In fact, all she wanted was to be in his arms again and to feel his lips on hers. He was intoxicating, and she wanted to stay that way.
“What are ye thinking?” Bryce asked just as they neared her house. Edna wished she could tell him that she was looking for reasons to see himagain. But she knew Bryce would never understand. He was furious because he had been publicly humiliated, hence she wouldnever be able to persuade her cousin to see Ronin favorably now.
"Nothing," she replied quickly, not wanting to prolong the conversation. They finally arrived at her door and knocked softly. Her mother emerged shortly after the door opened.
Edna noticed her mother was as gloomy as shealways was. In several places, the pleat she was wearing had been torn and stitched again. Her hair was unbrushed, and she had not washed her face. This was almost always the case with her mother, who had stopped caring for herself ten years ago. Edna hugged her;already overcome with emotion after discussing her father's death with her cousin. That moment was still fresh in her mind, like an infected sore.
“Edna,” her mother sighed as she returned the hug. “Bryce, what has happened to yer face?”
Edna turned to face her cousin. She knew they couldn't tell her motherabout what had happened at the pub because they'd have to examine the cause. This would bring back memories that needn'tbe brought up — it would cause herto mourn her husbandonce more.
“Nothing, it was just a small accident,” Bryce said dismissively.
“Come, let me take a look,” she offered. Edna's mother was a healer who excelled at her craft. People came from all over to see her because her abilities were exceptional and well-known.
“Oh, it’s fine. It will heal itself,” Bryce answered.
“It certainly is something, Bryce. Let me help ye,” she insisted, and he finally nodded as he sat down on the bench by the table.
Edna was not interested in sitting with them and listening in on their conversation. She was already exhausted, and her mind was refusing to make any sense at all. She knew she needed to rest and take some time for herself to process the situation. Her thoughts kept returning to her meeting with Ronin and everything that had transpired between them.
“I am off to my room,” she told them. She marched up the staircase at breakneck speed. Her room was her safe haven because it was the only place where she could be herself, where she could be completely at peace with the world. She was pretty sure she wouldn't find peace here either today.
She climbed under the covers fully clothed, too tired to change. The world around her was silent, but her mind was racing at full throttle. She needed an escape, she needed to calm her mind if she was to fall asleep. Edna sighed deeply as her thoughts raced, still focused on Ronin.
She couldn't pinpoint exactly what he had done to her, but she couldn't stop thinking about him. He was still alive in her thoughts, every word he had said, the taste of his kiss, the warmth of his body in the cold night. She knew Bryce thought he was the enemy, but her heart refused to believe it. How could he be anything but a friend and lover? He was gentle and sincere, everything Edna desired in a man. She also knew he was brave because he had been a formidable opponent for Bryce, as evidenced by their sword fighting match. Her cousinwas a skilled swordsman in the area — that was common knowledge. Being willing to fight a man like that was brave enough; winning the fight was even more extraordinary.
She could never forget how he had shown mercy to Bryce, allowing him to live despite having the opportunity to kill him. If it had been anyone else, they would have driven the sword into their opponent's neck and reveled in the sweet joy of blood spilled. Ronin was unlike anyone else. Her heart was certain of it, and she knew she couldn't deny it for a single second. All she needed to know now was whether Ronin was truly related to the McKenzies. She tossed and turned in her bed, but sleep refused to come.
“I think I should get some water,” she whispered into the empty room before getting out from bed and slowly making her way downstairs. She walked to the kitchen and could still hear Bryce and her mother’s voices coming from the other room. She got herself a glass of water, and as she stood there, the voices became clearer.
“Ye must start taking care of yerself,” Bryce’s voice reached her ears. She had no intention of listening in, but she did want to hear the conversation. She had told her mother several times to stop mourningand start taking care of herself, but shewould only give a remorseful grunt and refuse to respond. She was curious to hear what she would now say to her cousin.
“I do take care of myself, son,” Freya replied, her tone soft.
“Nae, you dinnae. I can see it for myself. Freya. Ye need to stop mourning for a man that doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve yer love or yer sadness. Why are ye ruining yerself for the likes of him?” Bryce questioned; confusing Edna all the more. What could Bryce mean?
He was implying that her father did not deserve to be mourned or loved. Edna was mystified —why Bryce would say something so hurtful to her mother, knowing how much she loved her husband?Edna's heart sank as she moved closer to hear the conversationa little longer. She needed to understand what hemeant.
“Ye already ken the reason behind this mourning, Bryce,” Freya replied softly. Edna was stunned to see that her mother had not reacted or grown angry. In fact, she was still calm and discussing this with Bryce as if it was no big deal at all. This was way beyond confusing; it was also extremely shocking.
