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“Well, that’s too bad!” he said. “I’m sure they’re very proud of you. You can exit the stage now.”
;Prologue
Andrew
New York City
Six years ago...
For the third week in a row, I woke up to a relentless rain falling over this repulsive city. The clouds above were coated in an ugly hue of grey, and the streaks of lightning that flashed across the sky every few seconds were no longer marvels; they were predictable.
Holding up my umbrella, I walked to a newspaper stand and picked up The New York Times—bracing myself for what lay between its pages.
“How many women do you think a man could possibly screw in his lifetime?” The vendor handed me my change.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve stopped counting.”
“Stopped counting, eh? What did you do, get to ten and decide that was enough before settling down?” He pointed to the gold band on my left hand.
“No. I settled down first, then I started f**king.”
He raised his eyebrow—looking stunned, and then he turned around to organize his cigar display.
A couple of months ago, I would’ve entertained his attempt to make conversation, would’ve answered his question with a lighthearted laugh and a “More than we’ll ever admit to,” but I didn’t have the ability to laugh anymore.
My life was now a depressing reel of repeated frames—hotel nights, cold sweats, marred memories, and rain.
Goddamn rain.
I tucked the newspaper underneath my arm and turned away, glancing at the ring on my hand.
I hadn’t worn it in a long time, and I had no idea what possessed me to put it on today. Twisting it off my finger, I looked at it one last time—shaking my head at its uselessness.
For a split second, I considered keeping it, maybe locking it away as a reminder of the man I used to be. But that version of me was pathetic—gullible, and I wanted to forget him as fast as I could.
I crossed the street as the light turned green, and as I stepped onto the sidewalk, I tossed the band where I should’ve thrown it months ago.
Down the drain.
Exculpatory Evidence (n.):
Evidence indicating that a defendant did not commit the crime.
Andrew
Present Day
The hot coffee that was currently seeping through my pants and stinging my skin was the exact reason why I never f**ked the same woman twice.
Wincing, I took a deep breath. “Aubrey...”
“You’re f**king married.”
I ignored her comment and leaned back in my chair. “In the interest of your future short-lived and mediocre law career¸ I’m going to do two huge favors for you: One, I’m going to apologize for f**king you a second time and let you know that it will never happen again. Two, I’m going to pretend like you didn’t just assault me with some goddamn coffee.”
“Don’t.” She threw my coffee mug onto the floor, shattering it to pieces. “I definitely did, and I’m tempted to do it again.”
“Miss Everhart—”
