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I sipped my wine, reminding myself I didn’t have to feel bad about helping her out, even though she ended up confessing. I also reminded myself I didn’t want someone spouting cheesy lines at me like that. But something still made the hairs on my neck stand on end, and I looked to my right to see not everyone was focused on the happy couple.
Lear’s gaze met mine, just for a second. His expression was blank. It was off-putting, but he looked like he didn’t even know me. The inkling I was feeling was guilt. Guilt at having been complicit in trying to deceive the groom and lying to Lear. And it shouldn’t have mattered, but it still unsettled me.
I don’t have to tell him everything.I repeated it to myself.Friends with benefits doesn’t require confessing all of our secrets. Still, the uneasy feeling didn’t leave me as I watched the couple onstage kiss a second time. Now guests were tossing quarters onto the dance floor.
I wished Lear were nearby. He’d be grumbling about how he’dhave to get someone to sweep up the coins before someone’s stiletto slipped and they broke an ankle. He would have already planned for someone to do it, though. I was a planner, a type A, I-know-what-you-should-be-doing planner, but Lear put me to shame. I sighed, since that was probably what he was doing at that moment, and sticking around was beginning to make me feel pathetic.
I spotted him again across the room. He glanced at his phone and cracked his neck in this annoying and weirdly sexy way he had when he was stressed. He didn’t notice me watching, and my irritation grew. I hadn’t moved, so he knew where I was. He knew we always hooked up after rehearsals, and he’d avoided me the night before. I flashed back to our conversation. He’d agreed to keeping things just physical, said he understood. I felt like the bad guy and I didn’t like that, because I’d been up-front with him.
Another few moments of him looking around and avoiding me had me gritting my teeth, and I pulled out my phone.
Chapter 38
Lear
Penny:So?
I blew out a slow breath and glanced around the reception. All the events were done, and now the evening would coast for a while with people dancing and drinks flowing. Tina was checking in with the caterers about the s’more and nacho bars the couple had requested to be ready at nine, and I took a moment to rest against a wall.
Lear:Happy bride. Happy groom. Happy oil magnate.
Penny:I love you. Get an expensive bottle of something tomorrow. I’m buying.
Lear:You already did. Thanks.
I cracked my neck, a headache threatening to cut through the Advil I’d taken. I’d dismissed three texts from my sister and deleted one from Sarah without reading it. I’d been able to push away a lot in the last week with my focus on preparing for this event, but I hada feeling things were going to crash down on me soon. A very nice bottle of bourbon was waiting for me at home, and I had plans to spend the next day forgetting it had been a year since I’d found out the ground beneath me was actually water. I was about to tuck my phone into my pocket again when the screen lit with an incoming text.
RJ:Something wrong with your neck?
She was at the bar across the room, nursing a glass of wine. She never used to stay for the receptions, always leaving once the marriage certificate was signed or her duties were otherwise fulfilled. She leaned against the corner of the bar from her perch on the stool, one leg crossed over the other. I returned her text, only flicking my eyes from her for a moment.
Lear:Long day.
RJ:You look tense.
Her hair was pulled into a tight bun, her curls restrained and tamped down, and I had an urge to mess it up. She traced a fingertip down her neck and across her collarbone, her teeth just barely sinking into her bottom lip.
Lear:You don’t.
RJ:How do I look?
She met my eyes, and she looked... predatory, like this was a contest she was gearing up to win. I’d gotten used to her real smile and her jokes. This was something different.Of course it is. Shereminded you what she wants. Not smiles, not jokes, just pleasure.I glanced down at her body, letting my eyes trail slowly back up, knowing she was watching me look. She slowly—achingly slowly—uncrossed and recrossed her legs, and I wanted to groan.
Lear:Like you want to meet me in the bathroom down the hall from the coatroom.
Her lips tipped up in a grin, and she finished her wine, setting it gingerly on the bar top. I tried not to notice the lines of her throat when she sipped or think about how she liked to be kissed along the slope of her shoulders, how she was soft and cuddled in those moments after we’d had sex.No.
RJ:Maybe so.
Across the room, Tina gave me a thumbs-up and motioned to her watch, showing she had things handled. I normally took a break to sit down or return emails or just get off my feet. Tonight, I planned to make better use of the time. RJ had already stood and was making her way out of the hall, hips swaying. Beautiful, round hips swaying, and I couldn’t shake the tension at the base of my neck, the awareness of what she’d said, of the deleted messages on my phone, and the edginess I’d felt all night.
I pushed off the wall, loosening up, shaking off the cobwebs. I wasn’t some touchy-feely, emotional guy. I left that guy in California, and if RJ Brooks wanted sex with no complicated emotion, I could do that. Hell, maybe it would help get my head on straight.
I knocked lightly on the door of the single-stall bathroom, an out-of-the-way place I’d scouted earlier. Spacious, tucked away, and clean. It was ideal for brides in enormous dresses.
“Come in.” Her voice was low and smoky, and when I pushed open the door, she was sitting on the vanity, legs crossed again. Her palms gripped the edge of the marble surface, arms outstretched, which pushed her breasts together. “You have an answer for me?”
I licked my lip and reached behind me to flip the lock. “Yeah.”
