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He put the tray in the back of the wagon, then helped her onto the seat. As he took up the reins, he shot her a grin. “It’snice of you to provide a snack for the band members. I know it makes extra work for you.”
The topic seemed safe. Impersonal. Ava relaxed her guard. “I don’t mind. I’m baking for the café anyway, and it makes me happy when people enjoy the treats.” Suddenly she remembered the cookies she’d wrapped in a napkin and put in her apron pocket for Gil. She groaned. “Oh, Gil…”
His eyebrows briefly pinched. “Do you need him for something?”
“I promised to save a treat for him.” She laughed, embarrassed. “He’s either busy with something else or the others swoop in and finish it all before he has a chance to partake of the snack. So I’ve been holding some back for him.”
Joseph huffed, his scowl deepening.
His churlish reaction brought a rise of defensiveness she didn’t understand. She said, “The director works as hard as the players. Doesn’t he deserve some, too?”
Joseph’s expression cleared, and he offered a half-hearted nod that took the edge off her ire.
She patted her apron pocket. “I forgot to give them to him tonight. But if we’re stopping at Mr. Willems’s house on the way, I could leave them for Gil there.”
A teasing—or was it a vengeful?—smirk replaced the frown. “Mr. Willems will probably eat them before Gil gets back.”
“I reserved four—two for him, two to share. Mr. Willems always enjoyed the treats I brought to the men’s practice.”
“You’re a kind person, Ava.”
The warmth in his tone and the approval shining in his eyes made heat fill her face. She looked straight ahead. “It’s only cookies, Joseph.”
“It’s not only cookies.” He gave the reins a slight pull, and the team slowed its pace. “It’s everything you do. How manywomen your age would stay home and care for an ailing mother? I can’t think of any others in town. You’re always thinking of other folks instead of yourself. As much as I admire that, I can’t help but wonder if you won’t wake up someday and wish you’d spent a little more time taking care of yourself.”
What a thoughtless thing to say. She folded her arms. “You think I’m letting myself go?”
“Nä, not the way you’re thinking.” He angled a grin at her. “You’re always dressed nice, with your hair fixed in that perfect puff, and you smell good. Even now, when I know you’ve been working all day, I smell something…fruity and sweet on you.”
The heat in her face increased to a blaze. She’d splashed a little orange-scented toilet water beneath her bodice before leaving for the bank to hide the scent of perspiration from her day of labor. She had no idea it was so strong. She scooted to the far side of the seat.
“You’ve always been attractive. Feminine. Even when you were ten years old, chasing fireflies with a ratty old net in your grubby hand, you still were every bit a little lady.”
Ava had heard enough. “Really, Joseph, your flattery is not appealing.”
His jaw dropped, as if she’d stunned him. “Flattery? You think I’m trying to flatter you? I’m only telling you the truth. I admire you. I always have.”
She pointed ahead. “Here’s the Willems’s place. I’ll walk the rest of the way from there.”
He drew the wagon to a stop in front of the square, clapboard house, but he didn’t get down. Turning sideways on the seat, he fixed her with a solemn look. “Ava, I’m sorry I upset you by telling you what I think. But what kind of friend would I be if I kept quiet?”
He would be the kind of friend she could trust. The kind with whom she would be at ease. She clamped her lips against the snide comments.
“You’re a giving person. You give of yourself to your folks and to people in town every day.”
She didn’t want to listen, but the fervency in his voice drew her attention. She stared into his blue eyes, unable to turn away.
“But it isn’t wrong to want something for yourself. While you’re doing all this giving, why not ask yourself what you are giving up?”
Ava already knew what she was sacrificing—starting her own family—and she’d made her peace with it long ago. Hadn’t she? She gripped the edge of the seat. “Help me down, please. Practice will end, and you won’t be there for Earl. He might worry.”
“Earl knows to wait for me, but I’ll do what you ask because I don’t want to further upset you.” He set the brake, climbed down, then rounded the horses and assisted her from the wagon. He lifted the tray from the back and offered it to her, but he didn’t let go when she took hold. “I’m going to tell you one more thing, because I’m worried about you, and I think it would be wrong for me as your friend to stay silent.”
This man had no idea how to stay silent.
“These nice things you’re doing for the bands are also done for Gil. I know that. Everyone knows it.”
She gritted her teeth and wished she could yank the tray from him and flee.
