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By the time I come out of the bathroom, Cody has already drifted off. It’s a perfect opportunity to take the three of them in. Cody always looks kind, with his quick smile and warm eyes. He’s the biggest of the three, but a complete teddy bear. The urge to lay down in his arms is so strong. I know his warmth would carry me right to sleep.
Then there’s West, tucked in the middle. His dark hair flops haphazardly over his forehead, the face that’s usually set in default broody mode, relaxed and soft in sleep. He looks more like the little boy I loved all those years ago than he has in years. I could have told him that I loved him tonight, that I never stopped loving him. But it’s too much, too complicated for us now.
Blake is on the other side of West. Where the other two have arms and legs spread in various directions, he’s flat on his back, hands crossed over his chest like he’s ready to spring awake at the slightest sound. He’s the steady one, the one with a plan and three back ups for any possible situation. His dark brown hair shines almost red in the dim light of the fire.
I grab Cody’s phone to check the time. It’s two in the morning and, while part of me is screaming to run now, I know it’s just too dangerous to try to find my way down the mountain in the middle of the night. Setting his phone down, I grab his discarded t-shirt and pull it on as I lay back down between Cody and West.
They both turn toward me in their sleep. Cody’s hand travels up to rest under my breasts and West’s hand ends up resting on my hip, his favorite place to touch me. My mind won’t quiet down, reeling through all issues threaded between us like a giant web of pain, misunderstanding, and bad intentions.
I snuggle against West, allowing his familiar warmth to seep into my skin. If I don’t let myself fall asleep I can get up and leave at first light. My pack should have everything I need. I saw Cody’s keys on the table by the door so I’ll slip out with his phone and keys. Even if they all took the same car to the trailhead, it won’t be hard for them to find a ride back to town.
As the first rays of light begin to crawl across the sky, I brush my lips over West’s, a crack opening in my chest. When I stand up, Cody rolls toward West, his head coming to rest on West’s arm and his hand on his chest. The way the three of them are seemingly cuddled together, as if I wasn’t in the middle of them five minutes ago, is all together sweet and unintentionally sexy.
I bite down on my lip as a horrible thought crosses my mind. It’d be so easy to take a picture and upload it to social media. After everything they did to me, it’d barely even scratch the surface of payback. Before I can think it through, I grab his phone and snap a picture.
As I pull on my hiking boots, I watch them sleep, drinking in the sight of them one last time. Once I get back to John’s trailer, I’m going to pack my shit and leave. I have a second cousin in Portland, who I know wil let me crash with him for a week or two.
Pocketing Cody’s keys and phone, along with a can of bear spray, I tiptoe to the door. Opening the door of the cabin, I’m grateful that it doesn’t make the slightest sound. The air is crisp and the sky is clear as I start across the clearing to head back toward a separate trail.
I keep my eyes and ears wide open to any noises. Dread courses through me at the thought of encountering the same hiker from the past two days. Hopefully he’s long gone now, scared off by the guys. Going back down the mountain should be faster too, because I’ll be using the well worn trail instead of racing up using my own path.
I nearly scream when I feel a flutter of air and a weight land on my shoulder. I pause, startled, to see Blue sitting on my shoulder.
“You coming along for the ride?” I ask.
Blue just looks from my eyes to the forest in front of us, as if to tell me to get moving. We stay like that for a while, until the sun is fully over the horizon and the air starts to warm. The only times I stop are to pull out a pouch of trail mix and take a drink. I want to get off this mountain by nightfall.
I pass one group of hikers, nodding in greeting as we pass and I let myself soak in the familiarity of the forest and mountains around me. Once I leave Roaring Forks, I doubt I’ll ever come back. A part of me wishes I would have made it up the mountain that stole my parents from me. A little fuck you to the universe, but there’s nothing left for me here.
I’m only about half a mile from the trailhead and parking lot when the hairs on the back of my neck rise and Blue lets out a warning caw. I feel the prickling warning of being followed, stalked. I turn, praying to any God that will listen that it is one of the guys or a bear or mountain lion. Anything or anyone, but my attacker.
“There you are.”
My gut churns with terror as I turn toward the voice. Dried blood covers the swollen side of his face that I hit with the rock. I slowly move my hand back, searching for the bear spray and I start stepping backwards.
“No boys to rescue you today?”
“They’re right behind me.”
I grab the canister and start fiddling with the cap. I’m not sure what the range on this bottle is, but I’m hoping it’s enough to get him in one go. Otherwise I’m fucked.
“Lies. I’ve been following you for an hour. No sign of them.”
“Are you sure?” I imbue my voice with enough certainty that for a second he hesitates and that’s all the time that I need to spray him with the bear spray.
He roars with anger even as he doubles over. I turn and run, stumbling over the rocky path, but never looking back. I can hear him yelling and coughing, but he doesn’t seem to be gaining ground on me.
I’m out of breath by the time I race into the parking lot with Blue flying above me. It only takes a minute for me to see Cody’s truck. Relief floods me as I pull out the keys and unlock it, tossing my pack on the passenger seat. Before I can close the door, Blue flies in, perching on the dashboard while looking out the windshield. I immediately lock the doors, looking around to see if I made it safe.
I shake my head as I turn the car on because having a bird hitch a ride is weird as shit. Then again, the past few days have been a trip so I decide to just go with it. I don’t even stop to catch my breath before pulling out of the lot and speeding toward my future.
It’s twilight by the time I pull off the highway and into the resort staff village that I’ve unfortunately called home the past seven years. I let loose another sigh of relief when I see John’s car is missing. I have nothing to say to him, so if I can sneak in and sneak out, it’s that much better. Blue flies onto the roof of the trailer as I dart inside.
There’s not much to pack. What little money I made from my job in town went to paying for my cell phone and car. I grab my duffel bags and stuff all my clothes inside, then grab a few photos I have scattered around, my old laptop, and the box of my mom’s things from Jennifer.
I pull out Cody’s phone and try to figure his passcode out. I’m on my final attempt when I finally figure it out, his football number and Blake and West’s soccer numbers. That should have been my first guess.
I send Blake a message telling him where Cody’s car is and where I’m hiding the keys. Then I open his photos app and try to decide what to do with the photo I took of them. West’s name pops up as an incoming call, but I hit the ignore button. I already said my goodbyes, even if they were sleeping.
