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“She does?” she asked.
“Always,” Lily said. “She said she’s jealous that the baby will get to spend days with you.”
Her new niece or nephew would be coming to her daycare when they were four months old. Lily planned on staying home or working part time until then and bringing the baby with her. Zara would have an open spot in the infant room at the beginning of December so it would work out well.
Yes, she had a waitlist, but her family members got priority for the first slot that opened. Others didn’t tend to wait around much either as the time got closer as they knew the slots were limited.
“We know the baby won’t be with me nonstop,” she said. As much as she’d love it, she moved around too much.
“Willow doesn’t remember that though. Of course you didn’t have an infant room when she was a baby.”
“No. My mother had her and when she was older she was with me at the school. Sometimes my mother brought her over to play and join in and stayed to help, but she wasn’t part of the school at that point. She won’t remember that.”
“Kids remember what they want to,” Lily said.
“Move onto Ren before the girls come back here. It looks as if you want to tell us something but might not want witnesses,” Poppy said quietly.
She looked down at her toes in the water and told them what happened the weekend Ren arrived. They knew about the letter from Michele, but they didn’t know about the talk that Ren and she had.
The one where he’d told her the reason he broke up with her suddenly.
“I’d be pissed,” Rose said.
“You’re always pissed,” Poppy said.
“I get it,” Rose said. “He was young and we do stupid shit then, but really. He threw so much away on one fight with his father. From everything you’ve said in the past, he fought with his father all the time.”
“He did,” she said. “This one pushed every button he had. Maybe it had been building all summer. I’m sure it had been.”
“He didn’t tell you?” Rose asked. “I would have made him tell me that back then.”
She sighed. “It was a moot point. I was upset and angry, but then I realized he had some serious unresolved feelings for his father. He’s had guilt on his shoulders for years. Not only after he broke up with me and had minimal communication with his mother because of his father, but long before he left for college.”
“I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to live under the same roof as someone who never believed in you,” Lily said. “Who tried to fit you in a shoe that wasn’t your size.”
“That’s horrible,” Poppy said, looking upset. “Lily is right. I can’t imagine it.”
“He still shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” Rose said.
“I can’t hit him over the head with the hammer anymore,” Zara said.
“I get it,” Rose said, sighing. “You’re definitely more forgiving.”
“It’s in Zara’s nature to be that way,” Lily said. “It sounds to me you know what you want, right? What is your heart telling you?”
“My heart is telling me that I never stopped loving Ren even when it felt like he ripped my heart out and left it bleeding on the pavement for years. Every man I’ve ever dated I’ve measured against Ren without knowing.”
“Been there and done that,” Poppy said. “I only knew Reese a week, but I couldn’t get him out of my mind.”
“You understand,” she said. “And now my heart breaksforRen. As I said, he has all these unresolved feelings for his father and the actions that he’s made, and with his father gone, there is no absolution from them. He can’t talk to his father and work it out. They can’t come clean and clear the air as he did with me.”
“That is a hard position to be in,” Lily said. “He’s lucky to have you to help him through.”
The two women came back in to do their pedicures, doing two at once. It’d give them all more time to talk, but the personal stuff in her eyes was done.
“He is lucky,” Zara said. “Now I’ve got to figure out if he really wants me or a mother for Max.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Lily said. “You know the answer to that deep down too.”
