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“Among other things, but we can start there if you’re willing to be honest with me.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Zara,” he said, running his hands through his hair. “I told you more than once I wasn’t coming back. You didn’t want to believe me.”
“I never said I didn’t believe you,” she said.
She was calm and it drove him insane. “You wouldn’t leave here. You know that. You’d said it as many times as I said I wasn’t coming back. I never said you were lying or I didn’t believe you. We were at a stalemate.”
She snorted. “That is what you think?”
“That is what I thought back then.”
“And what about now?” she asked.
“I have no idea what to think,” he said. “That is why we are talking.”
“What I know is that you broke my heart,” she said quietly.
“I’m sorry for that. We didn’t want the same things. We were never going to get there.”
“We were nineteen,” she said. “You didn’t give us a chance to figure it out.”
“Really, Zara?” he said. “Listen to yourself. We are both exactly where we said we’d be in our lives. You’re here and I’m not.”
“From where I’m sitting you’re in Mystic.”
“You know, that might be the first time you’ve been sarcastic to me. That you haven’t played nice and worried about hurting someone’s feelings.”
“What?” she asked. She moved to the living room. “Don’t talk too loud, you might wake up Max.”
“See. There you go again. Putting everyone first but you. It’s commendable and annoying as all fuck.”
Her jaw dropped. “I don’t see how this is getting turned around on me. You broke up with me. You admitted you broke my heart. I asked you why and you just told me.”
“I told you then exactly what I’m telling you now. You are giving me the same response.”
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“Zara. You never get mad. I don’t know if it’s this front you put on. Or it’s truly you. A lack of emotion.”
Her eyes blinked several times, the tears coming into them. There were some of the emotions there but not what he wanted to see.
“I don’t believe anyone has ever said that to me before. Not even you.”
“Why can’t you get mad? Why can’t you yell at me? Tell me how you really feel?”
She stood up from where she’d just sat down. “What difference would it have made?” she asked, moving around the living room. She was worked up more than normal. “We’d be exactly where we are right now by your words. Me here and you biding your time to leave.”
She wasn’t wrong with that assessment. “Maybe, maybe not. Could be if you showed more anger I would have thought differently back then.”
She whipped her head around. “Don’t you dare put the blame on me for your cowardice. I’ve never been anything but honest with you too. You told me back then and again right now why you broke up with me. You said you’ve never lied. Now all of a sudden you want me to scream and rant and rave over it? To fight for you to stay? Why?” she asked. “So you can break my heart all over again when you leave in a few months?”
He didn’t know what to say. “I wanted you to prove you loved me enough to try and convince me to come back,” he finally said.
“Get over yourself, Ren. If I needed to prove my love to you back then, then we had more than the issue of where we thought we’d end up in life.”
She marched to the door, grabbed her jacket and purse and slammed out.
Well, he got a reaction from her that he wanted. He also got a reality check with it too.
