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The silence behind me was deafening and screamed his challenge.
Turning to face him, I ignored the slight falter in his expression when he saw the tears still steadily falling and said, “You don’t want to remember because then you’d have to truly accept it wasn’t real with her, and it’s so obvious you aren’t ready for that.”
His jaw twitched as he gave a firm nod.
Rocking back a step, he paused and asked, “Is this what you do when you’re mad or we’re fighting?” Before I could ask what he meant, he said, “You keep trying to run away.”
My chest pitched with the force of my next exhale as memories danced across my vision. Fights that were all passion as we argued our sides while Chase held me close, refusing to let me go anywhere because he’d always wanted to get everything out and settled right then.
And as much as it always frustrated me in the moment, in the end, I loved that he couldn’t bear to watch me walk away whenever things were tense between us. Then again, all that passion usually shifted until clothes were shed and our bodies were slick with sweat.
Kind of hard not to love our way of arguing.
“I’ve never walked away from you,” I finally said, refusing to give him more than that. Refusing to give him those parts of our life that were so personal and could sway his mind.
Because if Chase was ever going to come back to me without his memories, I wanted it to be because he fell for me again. Not because he felt obligated to or because the memories I gave him made himwantto.
“Then why are you now?” he asked, refusing to just let it be.
“Because this is my pain.” My shoulders lifted in a weak shrug. “Even though it should beours, it isn’t. And as much as I want to scream at you for the things you say, I logically know I can’t blame you for any of it. So, there’s no point in sharing my pain with you when you can’t possibly understand what you’re doing to me.”
If I hadn’t been watching him so closely, I might’ve missed the regret that flashed through his surprise, but they were gone as quickly as they appeared.
“Got it,” he muttered and turned to leave. But just as he reached for the doorknob to go back into the house, he stopped. Body still and head hanging as he wavered. “Stretchhow?”
My eyebrows rose when he shifted to glance at me. “You—do you want me to show you?”
“Not if you don’t want to,” he said resolutely. “I was referred to a physical therapist; I’m just waiting to hear from them.”
“That’s a little insulting,” I mumbled, earning another one of those smiles.
“I didn’t know,” he reminded me, the words bordering on playful before everything about him turned serious. “But you don’t have to do this. I shouldn’t have asked.”
I walked toward him, holding his curious and patient stare. Letting my actions answer for me as I reached past him to press the garage door button to let in the cool evening air.
When I stepped back, I shrugged. “Unless you think I don’t know what I’m doing.. .”
“If anything, I think you’ll hurt me on purpose,” he teased as he started following me.
“I’ll make ice packs for you afterward,” I mockingly vowed as if I had every intention of doing what he’d said.
Chase’s next smile was slow and mischievous and still had the ability to stop me.
My steps. My heart. My world.
“Then do your worst, Scarlet.”
“And that’s it,” I called out, a laugh pouring free at the relieved groans that sounded from my friends a few days later. Straightening from my position, I let a smirk shape my lips. “Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad.”
“What did we do to you?” Anna asked through heaving breaths.
“I think I’m actually dying,” Litany said dramatically before flopping to the ground.
“You need to stand up,” I reminded her as my eyes rolled. “It wasn’t anything different from our last two sessions.”
“And our last two sessions were brutal,” Samantha complained as she opened her bottle to chug the remainder of her water.
“She’s literally trying to kill us,” Litany said as she propped herself up on her elbows.
