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That hope and excitement that was fueled by fluttering wings.
That bliss.
But as Brandon and Konrad’s words played again and again, my dread grew deeper and tightened its grip on my lungs. My heart. Suffocating every bright light I’d managed to find these past days.
“I said something to Brandon.”
My eyes flashed open, and I looked to the side to see Chase standing just a handful of feet away, watching me carefully.
I pushed from the door and tried clearing my throat, but it felt like it was filled with jagged rocks. “I know.”
“I can tell,” he muttered with a soft huff. Dragging his good hand through his hair, he held it there before gesturing to me. “Told you I wouldn’t lie to you.”
My head slanted in question, but he continued before I could ask what he meant.
“I knew what happened this morning would get back to you one way or another, and I didn’t want you to think I kept it from you. But they said it’d be best if it didn’t come from me.”
I played it all again. And again.
Everything from when I’d first noticed Chase beside me in the garage, to his leaving, to their words.
It felt different now, and yet...
“I don’t want to know.” The words came out on a pained wheeze as I fought the burning in my eyes. “Chase, I don’t want to know how much you think you love her. Or that you think you were in a relationship with her. Or that you think the two of you were having an affair.”
“I said I wouldn’t lie to you,” he repeated as if it were that simple. “Keeping it from you feels like lying.”
I pressed a hand to my chest as my body sagged. “I can’t keep—Chase, my heart can’t handle it.”
“Then tell me how to do this,” he demanded, his handsome face set in a mixture of frustration and desperation. “I can’t win no matter what I do here, so tell me what you want from me.”
“I want my life back!”
“So do I,” he shot back, pulling an anguished whimper from me because I knew as soon as the words left him that he didn’t mean his life withme.
God, would this nightmare never end?
“Shit.” The curse left Chase on a breath and his expression fell to match mine. “Scarlet, I’m—fuck, I’m sorry.”
“I, um...” My tongue darted out to wet my lips and a traitorous sob rose in my throat when he took a step toward me. “I have a class.”
I reached for the handle behind me as I turned and had just started opening the door when he was suddenly there.
Chest pressed to my back.
Hand on the door.
Keeping me from walking away the way he had always done.
My body shuddered with the familiarity of it all, and I struggled to keep myself still. To keep from leaning into him.
But like everything else, the moment was ripped from me when he jerked his hand back and stepped away.
“I don’t...” he began unsteadily, then cleared his throat. “Sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I took in the way he was staring vacantly at the wall. Brows drawn close in concentration and confusion as if he was trying to make sense of the automatic response that had taken over him.
With a subtle shake of his head, his blue eyes drifted to me. “I just wanted you to know that I don’t want to hurt you. I hate that I am because I can clearly see what this is doing to you. But keeping any of this from you feels wrong, and that doesn’t make sense to me either because—” A frustrated smile flashed across his face as his head slanted.
