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Because when I’d driven away and that first sob had shattered the weight pressing against me, I’d known the hope I’d continued searching for and clinging to was nothing more than a dream. And in my aching soul, I knew what came next.
I’d known.
I’d just been avoiding it. Pretending everything would get resolved one way or another.
“Okay, I’m here!” LT said as she rushed up to the table. Expression bright with excitement and mischief as she not-so-subtly looked for the waiter. “What’s going on?”
“Tone it down, Susie Sunshine, and try to keep it in your pants for once,” Anna said as she pushed a mimosa closer to LT. “It doesn’t look like we’re getting exciting news.”
I inhaled shakily, but when my lips parted, nothing came out.
“We love you,” Samantha whispered as she reached over to squeeze my hand. “And we’re here for you.”
“Oh shit,” Anna mumbled. “What’d he do? I’ll put him in another coma.”
A strained laugh punched from my lungs as my eyes rolled. “Not necessary, but thanks for the offer.”
“Always, babe,” she said just as softly, her normally amused expression weighed down with worry.
“And it isn’t Chase’s fault,” I went on. “Really, he...well, as much as I want to blame him, I can’t.”
“Well, technically...” Anna mumbled under her breath, earning another eye roll from me.
“I can’t,” I said unwaveringly. “I know it’s bothering him that he’s hurting me. But he’s even more confused than before because of some of therealmemories that he woke with. So, he’s back to thinking we’ve been lying to him, and his memory hasn’t changed at all. And it’s just...it’s breaking me.”
My lips lifted into the briefest smile of gratitude when Samantha grabbed my hand again, offering me her strength when I struggled to continue.
“I’m calling off the wedding.” The words rushed from me, thick and trembling. “I wanted to tell you before I announced it to everyone else. But I contacted the venue and photographer and everything yesterday . .. it’s done.”
Anna’s jaw dropped, but before I could begin to explain myself, LT asked, “And?”
Anna’s head jerked back before she whipped around to face LT. “What in the fuck do you mean by ‘and?’ Our best friend just told us she has to call off her wedding.”
“I mean,and what else?” LT said defensively, narrowing her eyes at Anna before looking at me. “Are you and Chase staying together? Are you separating? Are you going to continue living together? And if not, who gets the house? Because your business is there.”
“Oh, I-I—” I stammered, head shaking as that hollow tried to swallow me whole. Tears slipped down my cheeks before I could attempt to stop them when I said, “I don’t know. I didn’t think about all that.”
“Do not listen to her,” Anna said, holding a hand in front of LT.
“Honestly, LT,” Samantha whispered from beside me.
“It was a legitimate question!” LT snapped.
“No, she’s right,” I said in her defense. “I should’ve thought about it.”
“Not the time for your no-nonsense literal-ness,” Anna said to LT before focusing on me. “What can we do for you? I seriously wouldn’t be able to imagine having to do this under normal circumstances. But this? Babe. And what happened?” she asked before I could respond. “I thought you said things were good.”
“Yeah,” I whispered through my tears, my lips pulling into a sad smile. “I thought they were, but I...” One of my shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Well, it’s like he keeps getting pulled back into these ‘memories’ of this life he thinks he had. Then everything falls apart between us all over again because he blames me for that life not being a reality.”
“He doesn’t,” Anna said, looking to Samantha for backup. But Samantha kept her lips pressed tightly together since I’d already unloaded all this onto her.
“He told me he does,” I informed them, then added, “But to answer what LT asked, Chase still doesn’t remember me or our relationship at all. So, he doesn’t even think of usastogether. He keeps saying things like, ‘I get that we were together.’ Or refers to me as the girl who wassupposedlyhis fiancée.” A sad laugh punched from my lungs. “He’s probably relieved that I haven’t been home.”
“That isn’t true,” Samantha said quickly.
“I’m about to go knock his memories back into place if it is,” Anna said unapologetically.
“He texted you,” Samantha said as if reminding me, but I knew she just wanted the other girls to know. When I didn’t elaborate, she looked to Anna and LT and explained, “He said he was sorry.”
