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Get it together, Cait.
Bree was going to arrive at any minute, and I couldn’t let her see me like this. She’d start questioning it, and everything I’d kept from her for ten years would come spilling out, and she’d probably never speak to me again.
I sniffed back the tears, wiping away any signs of bleeding mascara before I moved to the kitchen and grabbed some wine glasses. I was in much need of a girl’s night!
* * *
A few hours later, both wine drunk with sparkly pink finger and toenails, we headed to bed.
My apartment had a spare room unlike Bree’s, so we slept separately tonight, but it was nice knowing she was just down the hall.
I tossed and turned in bed for a long time. With nothing to distract me from my thoughts of Aidan, I had no choice but to mull over what had happened.
He’d been close to me for the first time in so long, and I hadn’t missed how my body had reacted to him.
The truth was, I wanted to hate him. I said I did, and I really wanted to… but I just couldn’t. He’d broken my heart, but the sight of him still twisted my stomach up in knots. I still remembered how his body felt curled around me at night. I still remembered how it felt between my legs with his mouth on mine…
I wasn’t sure if it was the wine, or something else, but I reached for my phone. I tapped on the Instagram icon and went into Brianna’s profile, scanning through her followers list until I found him.
Please don’t be private, please don’t be private.
It was hard to believe I’d resisted doing this for all these years.
It took a few seconds to load, and then, there he was.
Hundreds of pictures of his adventures. Long hair, short hair, beard, no beard… the longer hair was my favorite. Once it reached a certain length, it curled into ringlets that made me want to run my hands through them.
I trembled as I scrolled through months and months of photos from every corner of the globe. He rock climbed, parasailed, cliff jumped and spelunked his way across the world at the same time I was running in the opposite direction.
I supposed it was fitting. We’d always been magnets, pushing each other away.
His Instagram documented every moment of his life over the past few years, and it struck me how similar we were. I had a lot of pictures in the same spots he’d been, just months apart.
Several of the photos contained different women clinging to him with plump pouty lips and porn star eyes, and I didn’t miss the sick feeling those ones gave me, so I scrolled past as quick as I could.
Then I landed on a picture of him stretched out on a rock in the jungle in Brazil. His shirt was off, revealing an impressive not just six, but eight pack. His arm was flung behind his head making his already large biceps bulge, and my mouth water.
Jesus Christ.
He’d been well built at seventeen, but now, his years of adventuring had toned his muscles to male model levels.
His dark green eyes were hooded, staring at the camera with a look of lust… and for just a moment, I forgot that it wasn’t me he was looking at.
My free hand travelled under the sheets, pushing down my waistband and slipping around my underwear to press on the spot that was throbbing with need.
No other man had touched me…not once. I wouldn’t let anyone close enough. He’d been the only one, and God did I miss it.
We’d only had one night together, but I craved his touch like I craved air. I’d been able to mostly bury it with hate up until now, but that didn’t seem to be working since he’d shown up again.
My fingers swirled over the tight bundle of nerves as I stared at the picture some more, recalling the way his lips had felt on my neck. It had been ten years, but I could still feel it like it was yesterday.
His tongue had traced the same pattern that my fingers now did, and my body had melted into him…
Oh God.
How I wished it was his mouth between my legs right now, my hands tangled in his hair…
I tossed my head back as my back arched off the bed, but as I did, my thumb slipped on the phone screen.
