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I raised my brow at him. “So why have you been trying to run me out of town? We’re grown adults now…”
“I just wanted to protect you. I wanted to keep you safe from this world… after what happened to Bree. To my mother and my sister. I couldn’t stand the thought that you could be next.”
Jesus.
I studied his eyes and saw the genuine fear there. It made sense. He’d basically lost everyone he’d ever cared about. I could understand why he would have been scared. Even if he went about it in a shitty manner.
“The truth is, Cait. I’ve tried to stop thinking about you. I’ve tried to forget about the hours that I was lucky enough to call you mine… but I can’t. I wanted you to have a stable home. I wanted your life to be free of complications and burdens like me.”
His shoulders sagged, and it was like he was relieved to have finally said it out loud.
Did he really think I would have preferred an ‘easy’ life over being with him? Did he really think our love would have been a burden to me? We would have faced all sorts of problems, but we could have faced them together. We could have grown, together. Instead, we’d been apart and I wasn’t sure about him, but I’d been completely miserable.
But, then I realized, it likely wasn’t just about me.
My brain started ticking over, putting all the pieces together. Suddenly, everything he’d done made sense.
He’d always been an outsider in his family, ever since Bree had been born. Heir or not, as soon as his baby sister had arrived, his parents had started to pay less and less attention to him. He’d acted up so he could rationalize it. He’d become a nightmare so he didn’t have to face up to the fact his parents had lost interest in him. He’d given us all a reason to despise him so he didn’t have to deal with wondering why. It was how he’d protected himself.
Oh, Aidan.
He was a sad, lonely boy, and I saw through all of his cruelness now.
My heart broke as I stared at his face and saw the lost little boy that backed away from everyone so they could be happy. I saw the kid who’d run from his family so an orphan could take his place. I saw the man standing in front of me who deserved better from the people around him.
We should have gone after him.
We should have held him closer, even as he tried to push us away.
I wanted to stay strong. I wanted to stay cemented in my decision to hate him… but looking at him now, his face flushed from his confessions… I just couldn’t.
He needed someone to love him. He needed someone to call him on his bullshit and show him he was worth it… He needed someone to see beneath the wicked rogue he portrayed himself as.
Luckily, I already did.
I wriggled my wrists free of his grip, and then leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He froze in surprise, but after a moment he softened, folded my body into his chest and we melted into each other.
For the first time in ten years, I felt my heart settle to a comfortable rhythm. My lungs could finally absorb oxygen. My muscles stopped burning. I stopped running.
“You were never a burden, Aidan. You were my air,” I mumbled into his neck, inhaling his scent.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.”
His words were threads, stitching the wounds he’d inflicted on me across the years closed for good. The weakness in my heart, the scars that threatened to rip open every time I looked at him were healed properly this time.
“I never meant to hurt you, I just wanted to prot-”
“I know,” I soothed, cradling his head into the crook of my neck. “I know.” Tears sprang to my eyes again as I pulled back, cupping his face.
I shook my head, the words I’d never thought I would get to speak tumbling from my lips. “I love you, Aidan O’Callaghan. I never stopped. I never will.” And it was true. Even after everything he’d done, I’d never stopped feeling for him. Even when I thought I’d hated him because my heart couldn’t handle the truth… well it could handle it now.
I saw him visibly relax, and it occurred to me that I had never seen him truly at ease. He was always on guard. Always waiting for the next rejection.
I stroked his cheek, watching the fear fading in his eyes. It was replaced with something else. Something hot. Something that told me what was about to happen.
And I wasn’t about to stop it.
“Cait,” he whispered, stroking my face. His eyes flickered across mine as he leaned in and reached behind my head. I felt a light tugging, and suddenly my hair came spilling around my shoulders.
