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I don’t want to be here.
I have no idea what I want to get out of this experience, and I don’t want Annabelle, the owner, to see right through me.
Walking in, I see Annabelle finishing up with a toddler tap class. It’s impossible to see these tiny little girls in their tiny black leotards and shiny, black patent leather tap shoes with their contagious smiles and not smile. She is stretching them out as she cools them down.
Annabelle nods at me, so I take a seat in the corner of the waiting area and drop my bag next to me. Ten minutes later, the class has ended, and the tiny dancers have run to their parents, excitedly telling them all about their first dance class.
Annabelle approaches me after everyone leaves.
“Their excitement, it’s contagious, isn’t it? It’s hard to remember what it was like to dance for nothing but fun and cool shoes.” Annabelle’s is smiling wistfully.
“Don’t forget the leotards. I had one in every color when I was that age.”
“Me too. Thanks for coming in today, Natalie. I wanted to take some time to show you everything and get you familiar with the place before tomorrow. I’ll be here during your classes, but your teaching them will give me more time to work on administrative things that I hate to do. If I sit in my office and force myself to work through it while you are teaching, I’m hoping to stay on top of it this year. I know that we’ve discussed you are teaching the toddler intro to ballet class, but I wondered if you would help me out with the class after that as well? I had so many sign up in that age group that I split them into two groups. I understand if it’s too much, but you would be helping me out. Even if it’s just for a few weeks.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem. I appreciate you being so flexible and working with me. I’m really looking forward to teaching the little ones and getting the chance to work with you one on one.”
“Oh, me too. It’s been ages since I’ve had the opportunity to work with someone with your talent. I think we are going to have some fun together.”
* * *
After I’ve gotten the tour of the studio, Annabelle turns on the music in the studio, and Kesha’s Praying is piped in through the speaks. She hits pause and looks at me through the reflection in the mirror. “This has been one of my favorite songs to dance it out to this last year. Dance with me, Natalie. Follow my lead and feel the music.
I haven’t heard this song in ages. Annabelle plays it through once, giving me time to take in the words and the beats before hitting pause. “You ready?”
I followed Anabelle’s lead the first time through. Loosening up and feeling the music and her moves.
Then she told me she wanted to see what I had.
I stuck with what she had us doing for the first part of the song but then went into a string of pirouettes, alternating between attitude turns and leg hold turns. Throwing myself into grande jetes and tour jetes. Annabelle oohed when I threw in an ariel into a split leap. Finishing the last thirty-two counts with alternating turns and feeling a little bit like I may have found my own soul again.
Annabelle clapped her hands together. “Alright. Let’s do that again.”
* * *
The next school day passes much the same as yesterday. My Wednesday schedule is slightly different from Tuesday, and I am excited to be in a study hall with Chloe. Sitting together in the library, Chloe and I speak quietly, trying not to draw any attention to ourselves. “So, are you ready to tell me what exactly is going on between you and my brother? Every time I’m around the two of you, he can’t keep his hands to himself. Care to explain?”
I feel that damn blush creeping up my face. God, I hate that. “He’s a touchy, feely kind of guy?”
Chloe leans forward. “Are you asking or telling me? Because I am most definitely telling you that I have never seen him act this way before. I’d say our little mission over the weekend worked.”
“Last weekend seems like years ago.”
“Shit, Nat. I’m sorry.”
“No need to be sorry. That night sucked, but the rest of the weekend wasn’t awful. And, maybe something is going on with Brady, well, not going on yet. I guess. He let me know he wants something to be going on with us, between us. I don’t know. He wants an us. He told me he would wait until I was ready, and I think I am. I mean, why wait? Your brother is a great guy, and he is so freaking hot. Like seriously, when he touches me—”
“La la la!” Sticking her fingers in her ears, Chloe starts to sing. “TMI. I’m all for encouraging this thing between the two of you, but no details, please, unless you want me to puke up my lunch. Gross. No talking about what happens when he touches you.”
“You and Cooper are both ridiculous. Do you know how many times I’ve caught him screwing around with someone? More times than I can remember, but as soon as I’m into a guy, he has a hissy fit.”
The librarian looks at us and hisses. “Miss Ryan and Miss Sinclair, you are in a library. Please keep your voices down.”
Chloe salutes the librarian. “Yes, sir, Miss Abrams.”
Miss Abrams crosses her arms and stands up. She doesn’t look amused.
“Anyway…” Lowering my voice, I repeat myself. “Anyway. I think I’m ready for more. I just have to let him know. But I don’t want to have the conversation at school, and I don’t want to text it.”
