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Murphy
At three-thirty Monday afternoon, the entire team, minus one, is sitting in the stands of the practice field, waiting on Coach Barnett and his staff. We were told to be here, in full pads, waiting. Grief is like a heavy fog choking the air out of us all today.
We’re the kings of campus. We’re trained to think we’re invincible.
You have to be to play the game we play. But today, that belief has been shaken to its core.
When Coach Barnett finally arrives, all eyes are on him. There’s no need for the usual call to get our attention. “Men, by now you all know what happened yesterday. We lost one of our own. One of our captains. One of our friends. Jamie Dawson was one of the good ones. He was a good man, and he was a hell of a football player. I am better for having known him and better for having coached him, and I can’t say that about everyone who has played for me.”
Coach glances at his staff, before continuing, “I spoke with his parents today. Jamie and Charlotte are being flown home tomorrow. The school is planning to hold a memorial service in the basketball arena at seven on Wednesday night. If you have any videos or pictures you’d like to share, make sure you get them to Coach Foster by tomorrow afternoon. He’ll get them where they need to go. As a team, we’re asking for a moment of silence before the game Saturday afternoon. The game is being dedicated to Jamie.
“There is also grief counseling available. You might think that doesn’t sound manly, but part of being a man is knowing how to deal with your emotions. Please see Coach McCann if you would like to set that up. If I feel like I have to mandate this at any point, I will.”
A muscle ticks in Coach’s jaw. “You’re not going to like what I have to say now, men. I know you’re hurting, but you can’t let that get in the way of the job you have this week. If we use Jamie’s death as an excuse to not prepare for our upcoming game, he’d be disappointed in each and every one of you.
“He loved this team and losing this weekend does not honor him. Don’t think that Kansas is coming here Saturday to take it easy on you. They aren’t going to care that we lost one of our own. Their goal is not to make us feel better. Do not let them win. I don’t know about you, but I refuse to dishonor Jamie that way. Practice will go on with the regular schedule this week. Get up, get stretched out, and get ready to practice. You’ve got ten minutes.”
Coach Barnett exits the stands and takes his usual spot in the end zone for the start of practice. He’s a wanderer. He moves around the field from position group to position group, observing and coaching throughout the practice. He’s also a creature of habit. Every practice is started with stretching and calisthenics and that happens with the captains leading in the end zone with Coach off to the side.
We’ll have one less captain there today.
Some of my teammates aren’t happy. They thought practice would be canceled. They thought we’d be given the day to deal with this without everyone around.
Screw that.
Give me someone to hit right now, and maybe it’ll help.
Give me an outlet for the overwhelming anger I’m feeling today.
I don’t want to keep this shit bottled up.
I want to rage.
Sucks to be whoever goes against me.
* * *
Coach let us go at five thirty. Even after his talk at the beginning of practice, he took it easy on us, which pissed me the hell off. Everybody was moving half-assed and slow as shit.
He grabs me as I’m entering the locker room. “Murphy, shower up and meet me in my office in fifteen minutes.”
No explanation given. What the hell? “Sure, Coach. I’ll be there.”
I head to my locker, check my phone, and text Brina before jumping in the shower.
Murphy:Hey, Princess. Just got done with practice. Heading home to eat something. Want to spend the night?
Sabrina:I’ve got to finish a paper tonight.
Murphy:So bring your laptop with you. I have to study for a history quiz.
Sabrina:You sure you don’t mind? I have to finish this. No excuses.
Murphy:Pack a bag. I’m jumping in the shower now. I’ll pick you up on my way home.
Murphy:Did you eat?
Sabrina:Does a granola bar count?
