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The doorbell rings, and we all jump, then Mom rushes to answer it.
I hold my breath, praying it’s not the military on the other side.
She opens it slowly and exhales loudly when a delivery man is there with a huge tray of food. Declan crosses the room and takes it from the man, then lays it down on the kitchen table. “It’s from Max Kingston.”
Max’s family owns the Philadelphia Kings football team that Coach coaches and Declan plays for. He’s also Daphne’s boyfriend.
Coach walks into the room. “Max had the team jet fly the kids in from Maryland earlier, and he told me it’s ours if we need it.”
My heart swells at the kindness of this man, and I fight back more tears, then walk outside to sit in the backyard. I lower myself to sit with my feet in the pool and remember the first time I saw him here at a party the summer after he moved to Kroydon Hills.
He was gorgeous.
There were so many guys from our high school, tanned and toned and showing off, but he was all I could see.
I slowly swing my foot around in the water and picture his face appearing in the ripple.
It’s amazing how nothing seems like it’s important anymore. Nothing but him being safe and whole. I’d make a deal with the devil himself if it meant Cooper would be okay.
I’m not sure how long I’m alone before Annabelle joins me. She lowers herself carefully to the cement, her pregnant belly throwing her balance off.
“How are you doing, Carys?”
I look at her. If you didn’t know her, you’d think she had everything she ever wanted. A dream life. An easy life. But she had to fight her way there. Her parents died, leaving her as the sole guardian of her little brother. A crazy stalker tried to kill her and the twins while she was still pregnant with them. Declan and she have an incredible life, but she had to go through hell for it.
Was I not willing to fight for what I wanted?
Was I being weak when I thought I was being strong for both of us?
“Carys...” she pushes.
“Sorry, what?” I guess I got lost in my own thoughts. “Where are the kids, Belles?”
She runs a finger through my hair. “We gave in and got a nanny a while ago. I needed help, and she’s amazing.”
“That’s good,” I tell her absently.
“Carys... are you—”
The back door opens, and Murphy yells for us to come inside. “They found Cooper.”
When Belleand I stand to go back into the house, I realize the sun has already set, and I have no idea what time it is or how much time has passed since we got that first call this morning.
Time is like a shape-shifter.
It takes many forms.
In the year we were together, we were hardly ever in the same place, but it didn’t matter. We had each other. I spent the days we were apart, counting down until I got to see him again, each day moving slower than the last. The more I wanted to see him, the slower the days seem to pass. But the time we spent together was over before it started.
Today is different. Time moves slowly around me now as I take each step but not slow enough. The fear of what Coach is being told from the other end of that phone is enough to cripple me in fear.
And somehow, Annabelle must sense it, too, because she laces her fingers through mine. “The fear is the worst part.”
I try to push it aside and put one heavy foot in front of the other, but my feet feel like they’re stuck in cement.
I’ll never be able to unhear whatever we’re about to be told, once it’s been said, and I’m not ready to accept that yet.
We walk into the kitchen where everyone’s gathered around Coach, who has his phone pressed to his ear. Declan tucks Annabelle against him protectively holding her pregnant bump, and I catch myself wondering if depriving Cooper of that was as big a deal as I made it out to be.
