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“Nat,” Declan warns, and her head spins like the possessed woman inThe Exorcist.
“No, Dec. You don’t get toNatme.” She looks back at me with venom dripping in her tone. “The two of you were together and kept it from us?”
“Yes.” I take the anger that’s pouring off her in violent, heavy waves and let it lap at my skin. I deserve it, and it won’t change anything. “We wanted to figure things out for ourselves before we brought the whole family into it.”
Nattie finally snaps.
She’s still angry, but hurt and fear are overpowering her anger. “Why wouldn’t he tell me?” Her voice shakes as she glares over at Declan. “He told you, but not me. Why?”
“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Aiden growls, and without a thought, I slap him across the face.
“How dare you utter those words right now. You’re the reason.” I look between him and Nattie. “You both are. We knew you would get involved and have opinions. And we wanted time to figure us out without you.” My voice cracks on the last word.
We wanted time, and I still threw us away.
“Did you figure it out?” my mother asks.
I soften my tone. “I love him.” I look at Nattie but ignore my brother. “In Cooper’s defense, he wanted to tell you all months ago. He didn’t care what anyone thought. He didn’t want to hide what we had. We were worth more than that to him.”
“Then why didn’t you?” she asks, angry again.
“Do you think we could table the discussion on all the ways I fucked up until after we come back from Germany?” I turn to Coach, ready to beg if I have to. “I’m getting on that plane with you, Coach, if I have to fly it myself.”
“Go grab some clothes from your old room. I want to be out of here in thirty minutes.”
I lit the match.
I watched it burn.
Now it’s time to deal with the pain.
It’slate in the night by the time Declan drives Coach and me to the small private airport just outside the city, where the Kingston family’s personal jet is fueled and waiting to take us to Saarbrücken Airport, which is about twenty-five miles from Landstuhl, the military hospital where Cooper and his team have been airlifted. Coach and Declan sit in the front seat of the SUV, talking quietly while I stare out the window behind them. Thinking.
We say goodbye to Declan, and Coach and I sit on opposite sides of the jet as we settle in for the eight-hour flight ahead of us. I take out the Kroydon football hoodie I stole from Cooper’s old bedroom at Coach’s house and slide it over my head, then tuck a blanket around my legs and close my eyes.
That’s how Coach and I spend the first few hours of the long flight.
Quiet and on opposite sides of the jet.
At some point over the Atlantic Ocean, my phone vibrates, and my heart skips a beat at the incoming call from Jessie. I slide my thumb across the screen, and my voice cracks. “Jessie...”
“Carys, I just heard from Ford.” She sounds as tired as I feel.
“How is he? What did he tell you?” Coach stands and crosses the aisle to sit next to me. He takes my empty hand in his, and I put the phone on speaker between us. “Jess, I put you on speaker. Cooper’s dad is next to me.”
“Ford couldn’t tell me everything. He didn’t have much time or much information, but he wanted me to hear it from him. Something happened, and an op went really wrong. A building they were in was blown up and collapsed. But there had to be more to it than that. Ford took two shots to his leg. The guys are all hurt. Cooper’s in surgery now, and so is Trick. He didn’t know everything, but Cooper was shot. He doesn’t think Trick was. He told me to tell you that Coop was awake during the flight to Landstuhl, and he was asking about you.”
Tears flood my eyes, imagining him hurt and asking for me.
Please let this man forgive me.
“Did he say anything else, Jess? Does he know anything else?” I’m grasping, desperate for information to cling to.
“No.” She sighs, exhaustion no doubt trying to yank her under. “But I’ll call you back as soon as I hear anything else.”
“Okay. Coach and I are flying to Germany now. We should be there in a few hours.” I swallow my fear and try to put on a brave face. “How’s Emerson?”
“The doctor gave her a sedative earlier, and she went home with Jack and Theo. They didn’t want her staying at her place alone, so they took her to your old house.” Another piece of my heart breaks for my friend, and it’s hard to believe there are any solid pieces left.
