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I shake my head and watch, glued to my spot, as Nattie drops down onto my bed and hides her face behind her hands, crying. “I’m sorry, Carys. I was horrible to you last week.”
I tuck my hands under my legs, nervously looking between Chloe and Daphne as they walk out of the room. Wishing I could beg them not to leave us alone.
Nattie and I have never been close.
I doubt we ever will be.
She may only be two years older than me, but she was always Aiden’s friend, and I was just his little sister. Never quite a part of their group. I tentatively reach out and lay my hand on Nat’s leg, palm up.
She immediately places her palm in mine.
“It was the worst day of my life, Nat. And I’m not going to lie and say the way you and Aiden reacted didn’t hurt. But I get it. Cooper and I kept something from all of you. You were entitled to feel however you felt. And none of us were in the right place to be more careful with our words. I wish it hadn’t happened that way. I wish things were different.”
“Why?” She squeezes my hand, and I all but yelp on the tight grip she’s got on me. “Why did you guys keep it from everyone?” Then a choked sob catches in her throat. “Why did he keep it from me?”
“Nat, I...” I take a soothing breath in, then slowly blow it out.
Now’s my chance to do this the way it should have been done, instead of making an announcement to the entire family at the worst possible moment. “I swear it came from a good place. We wanted to see what was between us before we brought you all into it. We didn’t want everyone’s opinions to color our feelings. And if we tried and it didn’t work out, we didn’t want anyone to know. Why make everything harder if we were never meant to be?”
“And are you?” Her big blue eyes blink at me, and I have to hold back my own tears when I realize I don’t know how to answer her. “Are you meant to be?”
“I love him with every fiber of my being, and I always will, but it’s complicated. I thought I was doing it for him...” I stop myself, not sure I want to give her that piece of us. “I fucked up, and I don’t know how to fix it. And now, he won’t even talk to me.” I refuse to cry another tear as they burn the back of my eyelids. “But I’m going to do what I didn’t do before, and I’m going to fight for him.”
“Can I give you one piece of advice, Carys?” Both of her brows lift as she waits for my answer.
“I’m all ears.”
She clasps my hand in both of hers and holds them together on her lap. Her grip even tighter now than before. “Don’t give up. My brother is the most stubborn person I’ve ever known. So, you’ve got to be ready for the fight of your life if you want him to see what’s right in front of him. But if you love him... let me tell you, it’s worth the fight.”
The fight of my life.
It feels more like a fightformy life.
“I’mafraid the 10 percent loss of vision in your right eye is permanent, Petty Officer.” My neurologist stands at the foot of the bed with a tablet in his hand and a pitying expression on his face.
“What do you mean permanent?” Twelve days of sitting in this hospital must be fucking with my hearing, not just my eyesight, because there’s no way I just heard the doctor right. “It doesn’t seem that bad.”
“The loss of vision in your right eye is permanent. It’s not uncommon with this type of injury. It could have been significantly worse than 10 percent. The good news is it’s only one eye, and your body will naturally compensate for it.” Thebutis coming. It’s in his stance and in his voice. “However, that does put you below the minimum sight requirement for the Navy.”
The blow hits harder than any suicide bomber ever could. “You’re telling me I’m done.”
“I’m telling you you’re being medically discharged. You’ve done your duty honorably. You’re being sent back to Coronado to sign off on the final paperwork. You won’t be returning to duty.” He hands me my hospital discharge papers. “You have a flight to catch.”
He walks out of the room as detached as he walked in, leaving me there to deal with the bomb he just dropped. Kind of fitting since an actual explosion caused the damage in the first place.
I’ve spent my life wanting to be a SEAL.
I’ve worked toward it.
I’ve fought for it.
I loved it.
It’s who I am. Who Iwas.
My phone rings next to me, and I pick it up without thinking. “What?”
“Real nice way to answer the phone, Cooper Sinclair.”Shit. It’s my sister.
