AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘You’re welcome to stay over if you like.’
Her friend was looking concerned as she reiterated her offer; if Tatiana had picked up on her distress, Chloe just hoped she hadn’t picked up on the cause! She was tempted, she really was, but accepting the offer would mean she was afraid to be alone with Nik. And she wasn’t, because nothing was going to happen between them. Chloe gathered herself and turned with a smile that felt stiff and forced, although she was unwilling to admit that even to herself.
‘Thanks, but no, it would be good to get home.’ She raised her voice a little to make sure that Nik could hear what she was saying and get the message. ‘I’d like to sleep in my own bed.’ The way her mind was working overtime she doubted there would be much sleep for her tonight.
After a pause, Tatiana nodded and kissed her cheek. ‘Take care...and drive carefully, Nik,’ she called after her brother, who lifted an arm and waved.
* * *
Chloe trudged on head down, Nik beside her, not touching her but close, close enough for her to be aware of the tension that stopped him dead in his tracks at the sound of distant sirens.
He stood there, head sharply angled, his lean, tense stance making her think of a wolf sensing danger, nostrils flared, scenting it in the air.
The sound retreated and he shook his head as though clearing it before glancing down at her. ‘I’m parked over here.’
It took Chloe a moment to recover from the expression she had glimpsed on his face before she fell into step beside him.
‘Are you all right?’ she asked softly. Haunted; he had looked haunted.
He glanced down at her, the sounds of war, the explosions, the disembodied screams and the discordant staccato peal of shells still sounding in his head. ‘The silences in between the shelling were the worst. Somehow they tapped into a man’s primitive fears...the calm before the storm.’ He stopped and the street light above them showed the shock reflected on his face...as if he’d only just realised he’d spoken his thoughts out loud.
Then it was gone, as quickly as it had appeared.
Another time his car, a low, gleaming monster, would have drawn a sarcastic remark from Chloe about macho power statements, but all she did was slide into the passenger seat when he opened the door.
She ached for his pain but she knew she couldn’t let him into her life...every instinct of self-preservation told her this. The memory of that morning waking alone, when she’d waited for him, imagining the reasons for his absence—he’d stepped out for coffee, he’d gone to find a red rose—made her cringe, but even worse was when the penny had finally dropped and she had acted like someone heartbroken.
The memory she filed away as water under the bridge. Mistakes were fine—it was repeating them that was unforgivable! He was a fragment of her history and, after all, you were never supposed to forget your first lover. Well, only time would tell and she was an optimist.
‘I need to stop off at the office first...there are some contracts I must sign tonight,’ he said.
Any delay, any reason to prolong the time she spent in this enclosed space with him filled her with dismay, although it was mitigated with a relief that he was sounding normal again. If he was acting she was glad...she simply couldn’t deal with his trauma and her own reaction to it. A vulnerable Nik was a very dangerous Nik to her peace of mind!
‘At this time of night?’ Her voice sounded calm but her agitation revealed itself in the smooth stroking motion of her hands as she moved them up and down over her silk-covered thighs.
‘I think they’ll let me in,’ he said, thinking about how her legs had wrapped tight around him as he’d thrust inside her.
‘Of course,’ she said, feeling stupid...then something more uncomfortable than stupid when she realised his eyes were following the mechanical motion of her hands. She stopped and folded her arms defensively across her chest.
He cast a glance across her face and was distracted for a moment because she was chewing her plump lower lip and all he had to do was bend in a little closer to taste it for himself.
‘Look, Nik, tonight I think I might have... If I seemed like I wanted you to...’ She swallowed and stopped; if she really hadn’t wanted Nik to flirt with her, why hadn’t she just told him straight out about the scars that remained after the operations, the puckered, discoloured patches of flesh on her right thigh? It would have been amusing to see how fast he retreated.
Except it wouldn’t have been amusing.
She told herself that people’s attitudes to her scars were their problem, not hers, and most of the time she believed it, but there was a world of difference between theory and fact, not to mention a world of humiliation, and she wasn’t ready for that yet.
‘You were saying...?’ he prompted, wondering if she knew how expressive her face was. The drift of emotions across it was almost like watching a silent film.
‘I think it’s a very bad idea to try and relive something that happened in the past. Much better to remember it as it was.’
‘So am I a happy memory or a bad one?’
‘A bit of both,’ she admitted, thinking that she had reached the stars with him and discovered the depths of despair. She buckled her belt, reminding herself that self-pity was for people who did not have a life and she did. She was not going to waste her time thinking about what she’d lost; she was going to celebrate what she had.
Nik watched her, the knot of frustration in his belly tightening the muscles along his jaw. He enjoyed a challenge as much as the next man but this was different... He swore under his breath as he started the engine.
‘So how long have you lived in London?’ he asked in an attempt at a normal conversation.
