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The rumbling-thunder voice sent sensation skittering over her body. She tried to ignore it but, with him standing so close, avoiding Tahir was impossible.
His scent filled her nostrils, reminding her how much she’d loved tracing her fingers over his warm skin, trailing her nose over it to inhale his very essence into her being. Lauren would’ve happily condemned her younger self for being silly and naive if the thirty-year-old version weren’t suddenly struck with the very same yearning. If every molecule in her body weren’t straining towards the unholy gleam in his eyes.
To counter that insane urge, she took a gulp of water, set the glass down and laced her fingers in front of her. It was a composure-harnessing technique she’d found useful lately, when the challenges of maintaining serenity in the face of her father’s demands had worn her down. ‘Ta—Your Majesty, I’d be grateful if you would let me discuss my matter with you.’
His lips flattened. For an interminable age, he simply stared at her.
Then, pivoting again, he went to the living area and, with the grace of the birds of prey revered in Jukrat, lowered himself onto the seat.
There he sprawled, like the supreme leader he was, his muscled arms thrown wide across the log-shaped cushions, and nudged an imperious chin at her. ‘Very well,’ he intoned.
Unexpectedly granted her wish, Lauren was temporarily stumped. Because it struck her then that within five minutes her audience with Tahir might be over. She would leave here with his offer to help or without it. Either way, she would...leave. Never see him again.
Why that thought suddenly dried her mouth while shoving a lump into her throat, she shied away from examining. But the answer arrived anyway, and with a force so unstoppable, she struggled to suppress the gasp that ejected from her lungs.
She’d...missedhim.
Her breath shook out of her, the fingers meshing and tightening as she grappled with the unbearable truth. All these years she’d suppressed memories of him. Mostly out of shame. But also, out of every might-have-been she hadn’t allowed herself to savour.
Because she hadn’t deserved even that.
‘Are you going to speak or am I to decipher your request telepathically?’
Heat crept up her face for staring at him for so long. She averted her gaze, fervently praying she hadn’t given away her emotions while she’d gaped at him.
‘Matt needs your help.’
Another chill wave swept over his already taut features, but his eyes continued to burn as he stared at her. ‘I gathered that. What does the Winchester golden boy need now? A lucrative deal he’s unable to land? Or one he’s unable to get out of? I recall he was always one to hastily embrace a too-good-to-be-true venture and regret it in the morning? Or is it more personal than that? Has he bedded someone’s wife that he shouldn’t have?’
Lauren felt every bite of that acid conjecture as if it were aimed at her, not her brother. Although Matt had done each one of those things.
Her brother had been shamelessly spoilt from birth, his position as the treasured child blatantly acknowledged with every transgression excused by parents who couldn’t fault their biological child. Lauren had grown up knowing she was a distant second to Matt in every way. Knowledge her brother took pleasure in taunting her with.
She exhaled now, wishing with every bone in her body that she didn’t have to say the next words. While knowing she had no choice.
‘It’s none of that.’ It was much, much worse. ‘Matt’s been arrested here in Jukrat...’ She shook her head, unable to finish the shameful sentence.
Slowly he uncoiled from his sprawl, his gaze not once straying from her face as he rearranged himself, his arms braced on his knees. ‘Let me get this straight. Your brother is in trouble in my kingdom. And you came here seeking leniency for him. The same brother who treats you like a second-class citizen? The same brother you colluded with to throw me under the bus twelve years ago?’
If her mouth had been dry before, it turned into a desolate desert at each stinging indictment that fell from his lips.
‘I’m aware we need to discuss what happened twelve years ago. To clear the air—’
‘Are you? How very magnanimous of you,’ he stated. ‘A whole dozen years too late.’ His tone was cold enough to drag shivers over her skin.
Lauren had withstood a lot in her life, not least her father’s constant judgment, rancour, and emotional blackmail. She’d somehow found the inner strength to rise above. To hold her chin up and plough forward.
But Tahir’s scathing censure, and the knowledge that she deserved the sharp razor’s edge of it, was too much to withstand. She lowered her gaze, then shut her eyes. Swallowed.
‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured. Too weak and far too late. ‘For what happened. I know I didn’t do enough—’
‘You willnot daretell me that you had no choice,’ he warned through gritted teeth.
She dragged her eyes open, bit back a gasp when she saw that he’d surged up and stood mere feet from her. A pillar of righteous, entirely justified affront with fists clenched, his jaw rock hard as he glared at her.
‘I didn’t believe I did. Not then.’And not now, she added silently.
‘No. Have the courage to speak the truth now, Lauren. You itched for the notoriety your brother enjoyed and selfishly brought me along for the ride. And you did so knowing full well you wouldn’t suffer the same consequences I would. You knew the potential of disgrace and dishonour for me, for my family, my country and you did it anyway. Am I wrong?’
