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‘I said I hadn’t ridden in a long time.’ Hannah glared at him, the excitement of the ride still coursing rich and hot through her veins. She stood straight and tall, holding her ground, hands planted on her hips, not caring if this broke every rule in his stupid handbook. Alessio didn’t move, vibrating with a furious energy. It was as if both of them were sizing up the other for a fight. She took off her riding helmet and scrubbed her hands through her hair, damp with sweat. ‘You told me she could jump and the quality of your horses is obvious. I wouldneverhave done anything beyond her capabilities. It’s not as if I hopped on her back and threw her straight over the fence. We’ve ridden for an hour already. I had her measure.’
His sensual lips thinned. The merest of frowns creased his brow. ‘You’ve been holding back on me. All morning.’
Something of a warning flashed in his eyes and she knew it was because she hadn’t admitted the truth to him earlier in the day. And that was a problem because he’d been holding back for her too, when they both could have ridden like the wind together. But she hadn’t wanted him to ask questions about her skills, rusty as they were in the beginning. Questions led to conversations, and conversations brought back memories now bubbling close to the surface, of things which had haunted too many of her days, and some of her nights even still.
‘I said I thought we’d met—’
‘We haven’t...as adults.’
That was why she and her friend had been in the car together and she hadn’t travelled with her parents. They’d been giggling and gossiping abouthim.
‘I’ve seen you ride before. I recognise your style and I’ll always remember a horse. Who was yours?’
It wasn’t really a question but a command. He stood there formidable, with the assurance of a person to whom no one would say no. The type of person who was never unsure. She’d remembered him like that, when she was only sixteen and unsure about everything. His confidence, the certainty about him. Part of her wanted to knock him down now, refuse to answer his questions. But she’d be damned if he thought she’d be reckless on horseback. All she needed to do was withstand the memories that would once again storm over her, leaving her wrung out for days. She couldn’t do that here. There was nowhere to shut herself away and grieve unrestricted.
‘His name was Beauchamp... Beau.’
‘A palomino?’
She nodded, astounded Alessio could remember. Beau was so beautiful he had looked as if he’d been forged from gold. She might have had no siblings, but he was like her brother, her best friend. His loss in such a terrible way, with her parents, had almost broken her. He might have survived the accident, but he hadn’t been able to survive the mortal injuries. She’d wanted everyone to try, because he was all she had left after her parents had died instantly, but the vet said no, and in the end others had made the decision she couldn’t make for herself. She’d never shaken the feeling she’d let them both down that day, and in those moments any sliver of hope something might be left to her out of the horror had died with him.
She turned her head, not wanting Alessio to see the vulnerability, the tears that she couldn’t prevent.
‘You were good. You could make him fly like you both had wings.’ Hannah couldn’t believe Alessio had noticed her, could remember her horse. She’d always thought he was the type of man who wouldn’t notice anyone like her.
‘Why did you stop?’ he asked.
She couldn’t answer that question, not now. ‘Why did you?’
Her voice threatened to crack. She reined in the emotion.
‘Always with the questions, yet no answers for me,’ he said. ‘How does someone so young have so much to hide?’
She shrugged. ‘I could ask the same.’
He hesitated for a second, which was pronounced because he was a man who hesitated at nothing. ‘My country needed me. And you?’
The desire to say it was like a poisoned thing bursting out of her chest and she couldn’t contain it any longer.
‘There was an accident. My parents. My horse. I lost everything.’ Hannah let out a long, slow breath. Closed her eyes. Rested her forehead on Kestia’s warm body.
‘When I left England, my groom told me of a tragedy but there were few details. I had no idea it was you.’ His voice was soft and kind, but it didn’t really help. Nothing did. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It was a long time ago now, and it’s fine. Really.’
Those were the lies she told herself. So many lies. She’d wondered for years what was the purpose of her surviving, till she found she could document the moments of others so precious memories would never be lost. That was her calling now. Photos might fade, but she tried to paint those portraits capturing an essence a photo never could. Her pictures could hang on a wall, there for ever.
‘No. It’s not.’ A brush of heat coursed through her from the soft touch of Alessio’s fingers at her elbow. The gentle pressure somehow comforting. She turned around, looked into his darkly handsome face. The tightness of his eyes, the pinch to his mouth. Pain drawn across him, reflecting her own. ‘I was called home after my mother fell ill. Then we lost her. The country might have shared the grief but in truth it was all mine, and nothing about that is fine, Hannah.It is as if nothing will ever be fine again.’
He’d moved forward. They stood so close now, the heat from his body warming her cold soul. She wanted to take it all for herself. Wrap herself in it like a blanket and let him comfort her for ever, because in some small way he understood.
‘There were days when it was all too hard.’
‘And yet here we are today.’
Their bodies were hidden behind the horses, where no one could see. She was so aware of the solidity of him, his broad shoulders holding the weight of grief. The burdens of a prince. How she wished some days she could share hers with another, let them carry the load for a while. Let someone with the strength of this man shoulder them. But that was a vulnerability she couldn’t afford because it wouldn’t last, a gateway to more pain, and she’d had enough in her twenty-five years to last her a lifetime.
Yet the moment seemed full, teeming with things unsaid, emotions repressed waiting to explode. Hovering between everything, and nothing at all. She could smell him this close, the seaside tang of fresh male sweat from their ride in the sun, and the undertone of something else dark and sweet like treacle she could drown in. One step closer and they’d touch. That was all it would take, a move from either of them.
