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He’d taken a risk, calculated but a risk, nonetheless. She said nothing, which was telling, and a small victory. The country needed him, but he wanted her to admit thatsheneeded him too. The continued silence made him grit his teeth till he would be silent no more.
‘As I thought, you can’t. Now, for last night...’ He took a slow breath, trying to tamp down the growing maelstrom inside. Perhaps it wasn’t the best time to have this conversation, with both of them on edge. But he was never one to run away from a fight. ‘To the rest of the world, we must be seen as one. An unassailable force. Nothing less is acceptable.’
In truth, nothing else would save the country.
Lise hadn’t moved, her face unreadable except for the tug at her lower lip as she worried her teeth over it.
‘To whom is it unacceptable? The one who concentrates daily on thenarrativein the papers?’ She lifted her chin at him. ‘You know what I see when I look at you? A man absorbed by self-interest.’
He refused to acknowledge the prickle at the base of his skull. Something like a conscience. No, he wouldn’t allow that to go unanswered. Rafe shook his head. ‘You look at me and you’re terrified of your feelings.’
‘Is that so? When you look atme, Rafe, what do you see?’ She waved her hands up and down her body. ‘The Princess I was or the Queen I’ve become? Or is it the woman who told her father in their last argument that she wouldn’t cry if he died? That her family could go to hell? That I renounced all claims to the Crown?’
Rafe stilled, as if someone had frozen him solid on the spot. She’d renounced her line in succession to avoid marrying him? She wanted himthatlittle? The chill of her admission invaded him to the core. ‘Did anyone else hear you say it?’
Lise’s lip curled to a sneer. ‘Oh, don’t worry, Rafe. As you know, under our constitution I must sign a formal acknowledgement of renunciation. I can’t lose my job simply because I say I don’t like it any more. Quitting’s not that easy. Your position as King is safe.’
She misunderstood his intentions. Any hint of destabilisation now would be disastrous. This argument had to be defused and yet they were both itching for a fight, the air electric between them. He shook his head. ‘That’s not what I meant.’
She threw up her hands. ‘Why doesn’t anyone say what they mean?’
Lise wanted honesty; he’d give it to her.
‘It’s difficult because honesty has been used as a weapon against me.’ Rafe took a slow breath. ‘For example, there’s a reason I don’t talk about Carl. When I tried after his death, his memory was used to taunt me by boys at school. The only time I’ve spoken about him to anyone other than my family or Lance was to you.’
Lise’s eyes widened. ‘Do you thinkI’mgoing to hurt you like that?’
He didn’t respond because his answer might give her even more ammunition against him. She knew more ways than most to damage him if she thought about it hard enough.
‘What I’m trying to explain is that we all say terrible things, and especially to our parents. Things designed to hurt that we don’t mean. You think when Carl died, I didn’t blame my mother and father for sending us to that school? Had your parents lived, they would have forgiven you as mine did. It’s what families do.’
‘If they love you, yes.’
Lise chewed on her bottom lip, the look on her face lost and broken. He didn’t know how to respond because he suspected she was right.
‘We need to stop fighting amongst ourselves. Those in power await your missteps. You offended their aristocratic pride by choosing me over one of their own. They’ll punish you for it.’
She raised her chin, her gaze cool and magnificent as the snow-capped mountains that surrounded them. ‘Let them try.’
‘They already are.’ Her eyes widened a fraction. Staff were talking about last night, as Lance had suggested. Salacious snippets for the press. Most, outrageous, but the hints of truth were there. Enough to have people questioning what was going on in the royal bedroom. ‘Check this morning’s Internet gossip pages if you don’t believe me. None of that is good for the country.’
Lise hesitated a moment, then nodded.
‘You’re right. We’re at cross purposes and the country’s running out of time. But I have requirements of my own...’ He stepped forward, opened his mouth to try and convince her once again that he was on her side. She held up her hand in a stop motion and the words died. ‘No more secrets.’
‘Agreed. I’m your greatest supporter in this place.’
Lise continued to stare him down.
‘Then prove it.’
Rafe had been right. She hated it, railed against it, but couldn’t dismiss his good judgement. The more reputable papers kept a dignified silence on the subject, but the tabloids had been full of titillating stories about their relationship. Even she could admit some of the headlines were quite clever. Things like,Who’s the King of the Castle?Or Albert’s particular favourite,Dungeons and Dragon Queen.She pored over each one, assessing the damage to the Crown over the days since. It terrified her, the way the stories took on a life of their own. Small truths turning into giant fictions.
The sourness of bile rose in her throat. All at the knowledge this was self-inflicted. She and Rafe tried to make up the lost ground. Out amongst the thankfully adoring public where everyone was all warm greetings and not entirely worried smiles. There, at least, they worked as a team. In private too, there had been a small thaw and, she had to admit, this way was easier. Seeing again the man she’d admired once. The one who had made her feel as if anything was possible. But there had been no more meaningful touches. No touching at all. Rafe had been kind, attentive. Respectful and distant in a way. And each time he was close, shewanted.
Her head still told her he was wrong for her. Her body cried he was wrong in all the right ways. It drove her mad. The churn of anxiety in her belly mixed with the curl of desire. Swirling and twisting her into tighter knots. She craved like a drug the sweet oblivion his body could provide. The floating bliss. The forgetting. During the day she could throw herself into duty. Meeting her people, hearing their concerns, and even solving some of them. She’d begun to enjoy that sense of achievement when once she’d believed there was nothing about the role she’d wanted or could much contribute to. Then at night Rafe invaded her dreams, till she woke all slick and wet with his name gasped from her lips.
There was no off switch to this need. It simmered barely below boiling point, overflowing when she least expected. Even today, as they worked to save the country with him commanding the room. A picture of rakish perfection in his bespoke suit. His hair curling in that careless kind of way that tempted her to reach out and sink her hands into the midnight darkness of it. Brush it away from his forehead when the unruly strands fell—
