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“Rebekah, why would you kill Nadia? Did she threaten you?” He frowned at her and met my gaze. He didn’t like having to ask. But we both knew Iwascapable of hurting someone.
Shado smacked him in the shoulder. “Dude, come on. You can’t seriously believe—”
“You weren’t at Tulane with us,” he said.
Shado balked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
My heart slammed against my ribcage. My memories of school were riddled with holes. After the first month of freshman year, I’d lost count of my raging blackouts. Back then all it took was one wrong word, one bad grade, and I woke up hours later surrounded by destruction. I’d trashed my dorm room. I’d destroyed Jackson’s apartment.I’d gotten into fights with random people, beating them until my knuckles were bloody and broken.
It wasn’t a stretch to imagine it happening again. One fit at the wrong time in front of Nadia, and I had no doubt I could have killed her. I’d come so close to it in the past, but telling Shado that wouldn’t change anything. It would only make things worse.
Jackson sighed. He knew how much those holes in my memory hurt. He’d worked so hard to help me make them stop. Before we started dating, that had been his sole focus. He’d spent hours in the school library researching tricks and coping mechanisms for me to try. He even took me to yoga on one of our first dates. Anything to help me learn to control my abilities like he had learned to control his wolf.
The fact that I was a witch and not a werewolf didn’t dissuade him at all. After the yoga came the meditation hut he built outside his aunt’s house in the bayou, the long hikes through the woods, the sweat lodge visits. A lot of it was crazy and ridiculous, but it worked, and his dedication was a large part of why I fell in love with him. He never gave up on me, and with his help he was the first man I’d ever—
“What aren’t you telling me, Rebekah? What happened at Tulane?” Shado demanded waving a hand in front of my face.
Jackson closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Rebekah lost a lot of time while we were in school. She had blackouts.”
“What?” Shado shook her head confused.
“If something pissed me off or upset me while I was at school, I flew into a rage and blacked out. I’d wake up minutes or hours later, and—”
Her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was embarrassed,” I said. “And scared. I didn’t want to tell anyone. The only reason Jackson knew was because we were friends when it started. He helped me get them under control. By senior year, they were gone, and we were engaged. I didn’t think they were still a problem. The only blacking out I've done since then was because I had too much to drink, or so I thought.”
“What caused it?”
“I don’t know. But it happened,” I said, closing my eyes against a fresh wave of tears. “What if it’s starting again?”
My heart sped to a full gallop. The pulse of it screaming in my ears. Adrenaline and magic mixed together under my skin and my lungs constricted. I couldn’t breathe. The excess energy made my skin itch.
Jackson stood and offered me his hand. “You still haven’t answered my question. Why would you kill Nadia?”
I did a double take, staring at his hand. “I wouldn’t have. Our business was done. I didn’t think I’d ever hear from her again. I had no reason to kill her.”
“Then there’s something else going on,” he said. “Another witch or shapeshifter. Someone’s messing with you. Using your face to screw with your head. When we were back at the house—the things I said—I don’t think you killed Nadia, and I know you didn’t kill Viktor. It’s not in you.”
I let him help me to my feet.“You said it yourself, Jack. You don’t know me anymore.”
He caught me by the chin, tilting my head up to look him in the face.“I knew exactly who you were the moment we met, and that will never change. No matter how hard you try to hide your heart, I see you. I always have and I always will.”
A sob caught in my chest, and the energy buzzing under my skin made my thighs burn. Pushing away from him, I had to go. I had to get out of the room, out of the building. My feet couldn’t carry me fast enough. Jackson and Shado called after me, but I was already gone.
I was stepping up to the curb, getting ready to cross the street when the door came crashing open after me.
“Rebekah, wait!” Jackson cried out.
“No,” I shouted over my shoulder. “It’s safer if you just stay away.”
The air felt thick and warm against my face. It stuck against the inside of my nose and mouth like cling film. A car passed in front of me as I crossed the street, missing my toes by an inch, but I kept moving. I needed fresh air. I needed my bike.
Jackson caught up to me in the garage. “Rebekah, slow down.”
“No,” I snapped. “I can’t be here. I can’t. If I stay, I’m just gonna hurt you too.”
“You’re not going to hurt me. Stop,” he snarled, grabbing my arm.
