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I throw myself onto the fluffy comforter and sigh when the mattress cradles me as I sink into it. Baxter has good taste in furniture. If only he wasn’t such an ass.
His attitude toward me hasn’t softened one bit. It’s not my job to get him to like me, but things would be less stressful if he did.
However, he does want me.
As soon as I figure out how to use that to my advantage, he’s in for it. I suppose I’m similar to Nox: I don’t plan on playing fair. I’ve entered Wonderland at a disadvantage without having my memories.
At least, I think it’s an impairment. Part of me still isn’t sure. The vision of my time with Nox is something that could change my thoughts on the matter. After seeing that, I felt a connection to him.
Maybe Lucien was right. Our past experiences help make us who we are. So the question is: Who am I?
A humble human?
A powerful woman?
A princess of pleasure?
The answer rises from my intuition. All of them. That is who I am, a combination of Alice and Adelaide. The notion settles in my gut, the feelings of self-discovery comforting. No longer will I try to be something I’m not.
A pair of amethyst eyes float toward me from across the room. Inwardly, I smile at Nox’s appearance. “What are you doing here?”
The entirety of him materializes before me at the foot of the bed. He leans against the post, resting his shoulder there while regarding me in the dark. The only light in the room is a dimly lit lamp that was left on from earlier. It casts a gentle glow on the space, making it intimate.
“I’ve come to say goodbye,” he says, his tone threaded with regret.
My chest aches at the sound. “Why do you have to leave so soon? We just barely met.”
His lips twitch. “No, love. We didn’t just meet.”
“You know what I mean.” I drop my gaze to the comforter and trace the floral designs on it. “I’m not ready for you to leave.”
The admission leaves me in a whisper, having forced the air from my body. I’ve never told anyone else besides Darius that I wanted them to stay with me. Only this is different. My memory of Nox did something to me. A deep part of me that cannot be readily accessed locked onto him, and now I can’t take it back without hurting myself in the process.
Because I gave him a piece of my heart.
I might not love Nox, but my soul does. It knows him in a way I can’t recall.
He blows out a sharp breath. “I’m not ready either, but I have to. The seer must be found. And not just that elusive bastard. There are other things that require my attention.”
“I understand.”
“Do you?”
I look up at him, searching his features that are covered in shadow. Reading his face in order to uncover his thoughts is a lost cause. Just like any attempt I’d make to convince him to stay. “I want to understand.”
His grin is like a beacon in the dark, and my lips respond in kind, matching his expression. I already miss him.
“Everything I do is for you, love. Always has and always will be. Right now, that requires me to leave your side, hence the reason I came here.”
My smile fades. “To say goodbye.”
“Yes.”
“I’m glad to have met you again, Nox.” I give him a little wave as self-consciousness creeps along my psyche. “Please take care of yourself.”
He laughs softly, and it has me squeezing my thighs together. It’s the same way he sounded in my memory of us. Sexy and masculine, with a hint of tenderness. Or pride. The feelings his laughter evoked were compounded by my arousal, and then he satiated them.
If only.
