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Having no other choice, I rest my fingers on her palm. The warmth there grows, intensifying to the point it burns. It takes all of my self-control to remain still. Not only to avoid suspicion, but I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she’s hurting me.
I’ve cried and pleaded more times than I wish to think about.
My mother’s power doesn’t give her the ability to read minds. Which is the only reason I’ve been able to avoid her detecting a few of my secrets: by focusing on something entirely.
I do that now.
“Hmm.” She purses her lips. “That’s strange.”
My silence is the only armor I carry.
Yet she pierces it with one blow.
“You don’t lust after the captain,” she says, her arched brows slanting in confusion. “There’s nothing but envy surrounding him… and his wife.”
The queen drops my hand, but it’s too early to breathe a sigh of relief. That’s equivalent to exhaling before the ax swings.
I nod slowly. “They care for each other. Isn’t it normal to want love and devotion?”
“My naive and foolish daughter. How much you have to learn. It is better for men to obey you than love you. Emotions are fickle things, easily manipulated. But obedience?” She licks her lips. “That is worth something.”
“You’re right. I’m an idiot to want affection. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me.” I drop into a curtsy and bow my head, silently praying that she’ll let me leave unscathed.
And Baxter will remain safe.
“Rise.”
I stand. The moment my gaze meets hers, my knees tremble, hidden by my voluminous skirts. Within her hazel eyes is a gleam that only means one thing: pain is forthcoming.
“I want you to bring the captain to me,” she says.
A piece of my heart falls and crumbles to dust.
“Very well. Will that be all, your majesty?”
She taps her chin before waving a hand. “For now. You may take your leave.”
I dip my head in acknowledgment and curtsy once more. Although I want to break into an unladylike run and never return, my steps are measured and without haste. My trek to the door feels as though an eternity has passed once I reach for the handle. Freedom will not greet me on the other side, but at least I can be alone.
With my agonizing thoughts.
“One more thing, Alice.”
I turn to look at my mother, the woman who gave me life, the woman who will most likely kill me. The irony is not lost on me.
“Yes?”
“Don’t forget to bring his wife as well.”
CHAPTER22
ADELAIDE
When I come out of the memory, I’m weeping.
Baxter stares down at me, his appearance haggard as though he’s aged rapidly. Lucien has me in his arms, my back to his front, and turns me to face him. My tears flow all the more at this, but my sobs quiet with him near.
The hatter is the last person who should want to ease my suffering, but I don’t have the strength to tell him why just yet. The memory surrounding his sister’s death hasn’t been recalled, so I’d have nothing to reveal that he doesn’t already know.
