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“Maybe he would if he knew there was something to come back to.” She points at the empty donut box. “And thankfully, I’m not talking about donuts.”
“What am I supposed to do? Go out to LA, find him, and profess my undying love to him? Again? Beg him to pick me over fame and fortune?”
“Why does there need to be a choice?”
“Because nobody has it all, Kelly!” I throw my hand into the air. “You can’t have everything. It goes against the laws of nature! He’s my best friend, and that’s all he’ll ever be.”
“Why don’t you feel like you deserve him?”
“I don’t feel…I can’t even…what the hell are you talking about?” I grab an open wine bottle and head toward the cabinet for a glass since my stash of sweets has been completely depleted. I’m obviously a very bad planner.
She grabs the bottle out of my hands. “No, seriously. You’re not taking a sip until you answer the question.”
“It’s a stupid question!”
Kelly sticks a hand on her hip. “Is it?”
“Yes!” I roll my eyes. “I don’t have self-esteem issues or anything like that.”
“Then why did you hang in the background, watching his life move forward, while yours stalled out? Why didn’t you accept that promotion and transfer to Florida last year? You’ve always wanted to move down there, but you stayed and made up some bullshit excuse why the job wasn’t for you. They threw a ton of money at you, and you threw it right back at them.”
“The humidity…” I run a hand through my flat-ironed hair. “It would have been hell on my hair.”
“Mm-hm. And what about moving abroad your senior year? You had a chance to study in Paris, your favorite city in the world, and you chose to stay here?”
“It was better for me to intern here so I could get used to working in Manhattan,” I hedge, averting my eyes. As if that would end her interrogation. The Spanish Inquisition was probably a cakewalk compared to this line of questioning.
Especially since I know what’s coming next.
“And what about Brendan?”
I rub the back of my neck and turn away.
“You left him standing in a church with an engagement ring and hundreds of people watching.” She taps a finger against her chin. “Refresh my memory about that one again?”
“Argh! Fine!” I grab the bottle from her outstretched arm and pull out the cork. “Bobby came back from his little ‘finding himself’ tour and decided he wanted to be with me! That’s why I ran out on Brendan!”
“But then he freaked out after you kissed him that morning.”
“He felt guilty for breaking up my engagement.” I don’t bother with the glass at this point; I just guzzle directly from the open bottle.
“You broke up your engagement, not him. He finally decided he wanted you after all of that time you spent pining for him. Then he changed his mind, ran off to LA, and you were left to pick up all of the pieces.”
“Okay sis, so why are you telling me to go out there? You’re not making a really good case for yourself right now. You want to see me get my heart stomped on again?”
Kelly pulls the bottle away from me and takes a long sip. “No. I think we can both agree that Bobby has had his head up his ass for longer than we care to acknowledge. But…” She smiles and squeezes my hand. “You still love him. And let’s face it, his life hasn’t exactly been easy. I think he’s afraid he can’t give you what you want.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it? Look at the evidence. After that whole mess with Brendan, you and Bobby stayed friends. You were there for him when he put his band together, you were the one who tried to keep him on the straight and narrow. You were the one who never judged when he went into his downward spirals. And you were the one who convinced him to chase his dream.”
“Yeah, so what does that all say? I’m a freaking doormat? A glutton for punishment?”
“No, moron. I think he sees how amazing you’ve been to him, and how successful you’ve been on your own, and it makes him nervous because he doesn’t think he can do the same for you and support you and your dreams in the same way. He’s scared. I think that’s part of the reason he went out to LA. You challenged him to do something with his life, and he did. Maybe for him, but maybe a bit for you, too. To make you proud or happy or some combination of the two?”
“Since when did you become a psychologist?” I grumble, dragging my finger tip around the bottom of the empty box, scooping up any remaining remnants of my sugar-fest.
“Please. With a head-case like you for a sister, you didn’t think I’d major in anything else, did you?” Kelly giggles and points to my bedroom. “Now get your ass in there and start packing. I’m sure we can get you on a red-eye tonight.”
I stare at her, my mouth agape. “You’re serious?”
“As nuclear war. So move it!”
