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“And now you think differently?”
I smirk. “Not really. I just have the backstory now.”
“Asshole.”
“Crazy bitch.”
She chuckles and smacks my chest. I grab her wrist before she has time to jerk it away. She loses her balance and falls against me, her lips so close to mine I can almost taste them.
“Are you planning to let me go?” she whispers, breathless.
“No,” I rasp, my heart thumping against my ribs. “I’m not. If that’s okay with you.”
She nods, her eyes wide and fixed on mine. “It is…” She dips her head the slightest bit, hovering her mouth over mine. For a few agonizing seconds, I wonder if she’s debating her next move, praying she gives in, desperate to feel her soft lips crush against mine. “But I don’t want you to do this because you feel sorry for me. I want you to do it because you want to. Because you want…me.”
My throat is so tight I can barely take in oxygen. A knot of tears catches in my throat. Jesus Christ, what is wrong with me? Am I really so caught up in her hell that I’m about to lose my shit right now? I want to beat the shit out of that bastard father of hers for doing this to her in the first place. Leaving her all alone, year after year, nursing the guilt and regret over something he caused because he was a greedy, selfish bastard. He lost so much, but he still has Kat. Can’t he see that? Doesn’t he know how fucking amazing she is?
But as amazing as she is, she’s still lost. And sad. And dammit, she needs to know that someone still cares…that someone still loves her.
I pull her against me, sliding one of my hands down the side of her face. “I do want you, Kat. I’ve wanted you for so fucking long, more than you’ll ever know.”
Her lips curl upward. “Good,” she murmurs, running a hand through my hair and around the back of my neck. Her warm breath feels like feathers against my face, and even though I want to devour her, I need to look at her. She’s so beautiful, but vulnerable, more than I ever imagined. I’d thought she had it all together. The Russian Ice Queen who was a better sniper than anyone in our family…in any family, for that matter. I’d always suspected there was something buried behind that icy façade, but I never thought it’d break her. She’s always been so strong, so focused, so controlled.
But not today.
Because she’s still human. She’s not some fembot that I pegged her for. She’s dealing with a mess of emotions I’ll bet she has no clue how to process, shit she’s been plagued with for eight years.
And today she finally let someone in.
So, yeah, I want to look at her. She’s finally letting me see her for who she really is — her fears, her grief, her desires. I don’t want to miss any of it. I could stare at this woman forever.
I want to stare at her forever…
I lean up from the couch and pull her into my lap, tangling my fingers in her hair. She tips her head back, her eyes closed, lips parted. I bury my head in her sweet-smelling neck, my tongue tracing a path over her flushed skin. I nuzzle her ear with my teeth, and a tiny mewl escapes her lips. “That feels so good,” she whispers.
“Just wait.”
“The suspense is killing me.” Her half-hooded blue eyes sends a jolt straight to my cock, and I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be able to resist stripping her down and throwing her on my bed. But I’m trying to go slow. She needs to feel like this means something, that it’s not a pity fuck.
But telling her the truth, that I can’t stop thinking about her, that I’ve thought of nothing else since she came into my life, that sending her away last night was torture…I don’t know if she’s ready to hear all of that.
To her, last night was another rejection from someone who supposedly cared about her. I’m part of the reason —at least a small part — why she came apart today.
Knowing that makes my stomach clench, but that’s why I need to take my time with her. This is real for me, and I don’t know if I’m gonna get another shot to show her how I feel. Maybe this is what she needs right now. To feel wanted and protected. But tomorrow, who knows?
I know how I’ll still feel.
Things might look different to her the morning after, though.
I chase that thought out of my mind. One shot is what I have. After that, it’s up to her.
I pull her tight, my mouth crashing against hers. I force open her lips with my tongue and plunge into her heat. Our tongues coil, our teeth crack against each other, and the electricity between us is so powerful, it damn-near sizzles all of my brain cells at once.
Our mouths are frenzied, as if parting would drain our bodies of whatever we need to survive…namely, each other. We breathe our desire into each other with every second that passes, and now that I’ve had a taste of this woman, I know I’m ruined for anyone else.
I lift myself off of the couch with her secure in my arms. But I don’t break the kiss. I need that connection. I can’t function without it. I’d fantasized about it for so long, and the reality? Fucking blows away everything I imagined.
Luckily, there’s a bedroom on the first floor.
