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Chapter Twenty-One
After makinga pit stop at Blush to say good-bye to Mia, and another stop at the Java Bean to see Summer, Jay and I head back to the Hideaway to say our own goodbyes.
We’ve been standing outside for ten minutes. Neither of us have said a word as Jay holds me close. His woodsy smell and the feel of his beating heart beneath my cheek are all I can focus on as I find the courage to push him away. He needs to get on the road, and with each passing minute it becomes harder to say good-bye.
A door slams behind me, breaking the bubble we’d put ourselves in.
When I push away, I see uncertainty in Jay’s eyes. It reflects the way I feel in my heart.
“I’ll call you as soon as my plane lands,” I state, averting my eyes to the cracked sidewalk beneath my feet.
“You were amazing in there. You gave them everything they need to find this guy.”
“Thanks.” My voice is barely audible as the single word catches in my throat.
“Drea,” Jay whispers, lifting my chin with his finger. “This is not good-bye.”
“It feels like it.”
“We survived five years apart. Years where we could have used each other to lean on. That time allowed us to grow as individuals, to figure out who we are and what we want from life. For me, it solidified the fact that I love you, I want to be with you. There is no one else on this Earth who will ever compare to you. You’re it for me. One day, you’ll see that everything I did, everything I sacrificed, it was all for you. So we could be together. Today. Tomorrow. Next year. You are my forever,” he finishes, cupping my face with his hands and sealing his words with a kiss.
“Forever,” I whisper when he finally pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. “That’s a hell of a long time to put up with you. I’m not sure if I’m up for the challenge or not.”
“I think you might be the only one who can handle what I have to give. My heart beats for yours.”
“You own my soul,” I state. It’s the only way I can explain how I feel about him.
“Good. Because you own mine.”
With that, Jay kisses me one last time before getting in his car and driving off. No good-bye. No, I’ll see you later.
All I can do is stand in the middle of the sidewalk and watch him drive off with my heart in tow.
Long after he’s out of sight, I force myself to walk the four steps up the porch of the Hideaway and open the front door. The staircase proves to be a bigger challenge to navigate as my legs feel heavy, knowing I’m going to be putting even more distance between us as soon as I get on the plane.
Distance I want to erase.
There is nowhere in this world I want to be other than by Jay’s side.
I’ve always known it but been too afraid to admit it and terrified to act on it. Even now, the thought scares me, but it also makes me smile.
After torturing myself for years, allowing the guilt to consume me, I’d like to think Sam would be happy for us as well. That two people she loved most in this world, love each other. That we’ve found our happiness. Someone to accept us the way we are.
And if she’s watching over us, I hope she can see how sorry we both are for betraying her. It was not something we meant to do. Not something we were proud of.
There are moments in life that define you. People that help you figure out who you are and who you want to be.
Meeting Jay opened my eyes to love.
Being friends with Sam sparked my drive for adventure.
Spencer warmed my heart with laughter.
Mia kept us all grounded.
Summer made me feel accepted.
Mindi nurtured my wounded soul.
