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Willow
It’sclose to two o’clock in the morning before Finn arrives. I was about ready to give up on him when my phone alerted me to a text letting me know he was out in the hall. After tiptoeing through the apartment so I don’t wake Kendall, I let him in. He silently follows me to my room, and without a word, we crawl into bed, cuddling in the middle. His front to my back. His arm resting over my hip. My head tucked perfectly beneath his chin.
But I can’t sleep. There’s so much I want to say. We need to talk, and if I don’t get this off my chest, I won’t be able to sleep tonight at all. So, I’m laying here awake, staring at the wall in front of me, thinking about everything that has changed over the last few weeks. I lost my dad. My heart broke into a million pieces. Then I fell in bed with Finn and slowly my heart has started to heal.
Is it all just sex, though? Does he really mean all the sweet things he whispers in my ear?
He must sense my turmoil because he turns me to face him, tilting my chin so I’m forced to look him in the eye.
“What’s the matter, little tree?” His voice is laced with concern, his eyes searching mine.
“Nothing.”
Why am I lying to him? We need to have this talk. I need to know where we stand. Staring the conversation is hard, though.
“I’m not buying it, so spill.”
“What are we?” It takes me five minutes to work up the nerve to ask him, and all I got out were three little words. Not even the hardest three words I’ll ever say to him, either.
“What do you mean?
“This. Are we just having fun or is it something more?”
“This is everything,” he states firmly, his voice leaving no room for negotiation on the subject.
“What does that even mean?” I ask, getting frustrated. Pushing out of his embrace, I sit up and turn away from him. Even though he can’t see the tears in my eyes, I close them and take a deep breath, hoping to hold them at bay for a little while longer. “I’m not opposed to hooking up, Finn, but I need to know if that’s all this is. I don’t want to get my hopes up only to have my heart broken. I just lost my dad. It feels like I’m barely holding on as it is some days.”
The bed shifts, and then I hear the heaviness of his footsteps as he moves around the room. There’s a dip in the bed in front of me, and when I open my eyes, Finn’s there with a smile on his face.
“What’s so funny?”
“You are.”
“I don’t think this is funny at all. I’m serious. I need to know what you want from me.” Crossing my arms over my chest, I let out a huff of irritation.
“It’s a long list, LT. A very, very long list,” he says, his voice taking on a sultry tone. The same tone he uses when he wants to strip me down and take me hard.
“Finn,” I plead with him.
“You know what this is. You know how I feel about you. I’ve shown you with my actions, with my body. If you want me to say the words I will. I have no problem with that, but I’m not sure you’re ready to hear them.”
“I need the words.”
“Okay.” Reaching for my hand, he pulls me to stand in front of him. We’re both fully clothed, but the moment his hand slides against mine I wish we weren’t. “You, Willow Grace Palmer, are everything to me. You’re my best friend—don’t tell your brother—and the only person I want to fall asleep with in my arms and listen to snore. The one person I want to kiss as soon as I wake up, morning breath be damned. Your smile lights up my world when you walk in a room. Your voice makes me hard even when you’re bitching about nothing.” That earns him a smack against his chest, but he doesn’t falter. “Your heart makes me a believer in something more, something bigger than I’ve ever felt before. But it’s your eyes that seal the deal for me. They’re the key to your soul. And when I look into them, I see myself standing next to you. You’re mine, Willow, and I’m yours.”
I know my mouth fell open at some point in time because when Finn leans in to kiss me, his tongue slips between my lips without needing an invitation. His kiss is just as poetic as his words, and I can feel every ounce of love he has for me.
When he pulls back, he smirks at me. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Good enough.” I shrug my shoulders at him as if his words had no effect on me.
“You’re going to pay for that, you know,” he threatens, lifting me by my hips and tossing me on the bed, covering my body with his before I can scramble away.
“I want to tell you how much I like you, Willow. I want to say those three little words that will change everything but we’re not there yet. Just know, that’s how I feel, and when the moment’s right … one where we’re not in your bed, sneaking around, I won’t hesitate to say them.”
“And I won’t hesitate to reply,” I say, pulling his lips to mine, effectively ending our conversation.
Finn doesn’t seem to mind as he quickly removes first his clothes, tossing them wildly around the room, and then mine.
