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Finn
All I wantto do is hold her. To promise her that everything is going to be okay. For her to cry on my shoulder, to lean on me while she learns to navigate the road ahead. It’s not going to be an easy journey.
When she didn’t exit the church with the rest of her family, I knew she needed me. I also knew Max was going to be pissed but I didn’t give two shits at that moment. Her heart was broken, and I wanted to be the one to pick up the pieces and help her put it back together. For my hands to be what mends it.
Her father would approve. We had many talks over the years, leading me to believe that if there ever came a time where I decided to act on how I felt about Willow, that I had his blessing.
Odd, I know.
I never told him how I felt about Willow, too scared to admit my feelings to myself let alone to her father. I always thought that would have been like signing my own death warrant, no matter how much he liked me. However, I wasn’t the one who started the conversation. It was always James. A man that treated me like a son, who made sure I knew I had a place in his family.
And when I pulled Willow into my lap inside of the church as she broke down in tears, I prayed for guidance from the man that is no longer with us. For him to guide me to do the right thing. To show me how to heal her broken heart and to help her move on with her life. Because she is currently drowning in her sorrow.
When her tears dried up, I thought it was a small sign of hope. Until she stormed past me when I offered her my hand. And when I ran after her, exiting the church only a few steps behind her, that hope faded. My eyes locked with Max’s, his heated in anger while mine screamed of my love for Willow.
I’ve never been exceptionally good at hiding how I feel about her. For a man of few words, I wear my heart on my sleeve where she’s concerned. I can’t keep my eyes off of her, even when I try. I’m always finding a way to be near her, sometimes gravitating in her direction without realizing it. And up until the end of last summer, it wasn’t an issue. We were close, friends who shared naughty looks, but nothing more.
Then it happened. The night I finally gave in to my growing need and made my move. To my surprise, Willow didn’t put up a fight. She didn’t play coy. When our lips met, it was like fireworks going off on the Fourth of July. There was an instant spark that ignited something deep within my soul.
“What the hell did you say to her, man? She looks like she’s been crying,” Max growls at me as he comes to a stop in front of me on the steps. He tucked Willow in the car before stomping over here. I can’t see her through the tinted windows, but I can feel her stare on me. She’s watching. “Listen, I know you two are friends and I know you want to help, but I think maybe you should back off. She’s a fucking wreck and so is Evie. Let me handle it. If I need help, you’ll be the first person I call.”
I can’t help but feel like I’ve been slapped across the face. Max doesn’t want my help. His best friend. The one person he’s always turned to in his time of need. We’ve been through everything together and faced it all as a united front. If there was ever a time he needed me, it’s right now. Because if the situation were reversed, he’d be the one I called. The one by my side.
Nodding, he stalks off, getting in the car with the rest of his family. Once they pull away from the curb, following the hearse to the cemetery, I let out a deep breath and go in search of my own family. Declan is leaning against my parents’ SUV, arms crossed over his chest.
“She okay?” is all he asks as I motion for him to get inside. There’s no way in hell I’m sitting in the middle. I’m the oldest. Fuck that. Plus, I need to get out first so I can help carry James’ casket to the grave site.
“She will be. Eventually,” I reply solemnly, staring out the window as the car moves forward.
I don’t say another word to anyone the rest of the afternoon, tamping down my own grief as I watch them lower the casket into the ground. As I see Tammy, Max’s mom, break down in tears. Not even when we’re back at the Palmers’ house where everyone gathers to mourn together. To remember the man with the perfect smile, positive attitude, and deep, thundering laugh.
Laying by the pool with my back to the party, I let a single tear fall as I stare up at the sky, silently promising James I’ll watch over his family. Not just Willow, but Max, Evie, and Tammy, too. I’ll take care of them the best I can. As if they were my own family. I’ll get them through this. Remind them that his greatest joy in life was to see them smile.
When the scent of vanilla hits me, I sit up quickly, turning my head just in time to see Willow disappear around the pool shed, her heels dangling from her fingertips.
I know where she’s headed. Her favorite place in the world. The tree she used to climb when she was little to prove she wasn’t scared of anything. The place she goes when she needs to think. To be alone. But right now, alone is the last thing I want her to feel, so instead of letting her run away, I follow her.
She plops down in the grass, throws her shoes in a fit of rage—which makes me want to chuckle, but I hold it back—and rests her head against the trunk of the large oak.
I try to keep our conversation light as I stare down at her. I can tell she’s not in the mood to talk, that she wants to be alone, but I need her as much as she needs me right now. She just doesn’t realize it yet.
“Max is going to kill you,” she says as if it’s not scary as fuck.
Yeah, he is. So, I might as well go for broke and spend what little time I have before that happens with her. Because that’s all I want. To spend every waking moment with her in my arms, by my side. To see her smile and hear her laugh.
She quickly changes the topic, giving me a mild case of whiplash. First, to my tie. It’s my favorite, the same color as her eyes. A deep, cobalt blue. Then, trying to push me away when I tell her exactly what she needs to hear … the truth. Because I guarantee everyone’s been sugarcoating this for her, treating her with kid gloves, and that’s not going to help her in the long run. It’ll only make her dwell on what’s happened. The same way she did after her first real breakup until Max told her what a piece of shit he was.
Trying to be the brave, strong woman I know she is, she holds back her tears as silence descends between us. I could sit comfortably in a room with Willow without talking for hours. And as the thought crosses my mind, her head falls in my lap with more force than I’m prepared for. Seeing her reaction, I make a joke of it, but the damage is done. My dick has a mind of its own and it’s straining toward Willow for companionship.
Ignoring the urge to pull her into my lap and kiss away her unshed tears, I give her a small piece of my heart, promising to be here for her, no matter how Max may feel about it. Am I aiming to lose my best friend? Hell no. But I also can’t live without Willow in my life. The last nine months have been pure hell.
“Last time you promised me something similar you weren’t there the next morning. I’ll take my chances going this alone.”
Ouch. That hurt. But her words don’t match the desire in her eyes.
And when she leans into me, her eyes telling me everything I need to know, I do what I’ve been wanting to do for months. Since I had my first taste of the woman who owns my heart. I pull her into my lap and crash my mouth against hers. Owning her. Comforting her. Promising her everything with my actions instead of my words.
