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“From what I can tell, you may not want to be in a relationship, but you are. And if Micah is anything like his brother, he’s not going to let you go without a fight.”
Unsure of what to say, I don’t bother to reply.
After a long stretch of silence, Kendall adds, “You can have both, Alexis. If you let yourself. You just have to find the balance.”
Balance.
Wouldn’t that be nice.
To be able to enjoy life as much as I want and not let my grades slip. To play as hard as I study. To have someone like Micah without the fear of our differences tearing us apart. Breaking my heart. Because if I let myself fall for him, if I become too invested in this relationship outside of sex, he will break me.
Which is what I need Kendall to understand.
“We’re too different. It won’t work in the long run. It’s why we’re just having a little fun. Why there are rules. As much as he said this isn’t just about sex for him, maybe it is for me.”
“That’s about as far from the truth as you can get,” she says, reaching over and placing her hand on top of mine. “You can keep telling yourself that all you want, but one look is all it takes for others to see the truth. And you’re not that different, Alexis.”
“He has more money than he knows what to do with, and I can’t even afford gas in a free car. He lives in a nice apartment, and I’m stuck in the dorms until graduation. He’s—”
“And here I thought you were going to say he was too young for you,” she interjects, laughing.
“I mean, he is young, but he doesn’t act young. Plus, it’s only a year.” I hadn’t really given much thought to the fact he was younger than me. We hang out with the same people. Some are older, some younger. It doesn’t seem to matter.
“So, what... this is because his family has money and yours doesn’t? That seems even sillier.”
“Maybe to you, but not to me. You said I need to find balance, but he’ll always be on another level.”
Gathering my things and promising to call her later, I don’t give Kendall a chance to argue her case. I really do have to study but I’m sure she thinks it’s an excuse to escape. At the moment, I just don’t care.
