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Alexis
I’ll never turnoff my phone again.
Not even for a night.
Not even because I’m studying.
Never again.
If I had been paying attention, I would have known Piper was coming back tonight instead of next weekend like planned. I would have been expecting her and not invited Micah in.
That’s a lie. I spent most of the night attempting not to think about Micah. To focus on exam prep... only for my thoughts to drift back to him every few minutes. Feeling bad about canceling on him tonight.
Picturing his abs. The way his broad shoulders stretch the fabric of every shirt I’ve seen him wear. Wondering what he was doing. Who he was with. Hoping he was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him.
Even if I had known Piper was on her way back, I would have caved and invited him in. Chased after him.
Because I’m an addict and I needed my next hit. Just a little taste to tide me over.
What I would have done differently, though, is I sure as hell wouldn’t have left my bedroom door open.
To say Piper was shocked to find me in such a compromising situation is an understatement. She stood in my doorway mumbling to herself for a few minutes, hands over her eyes to shield her from seeing any more than she already had, before anyone spoke. The sound of Micah’s voice must have startled her because she bolted for her bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her.
After getting redressed, Micah climbed back out the still open window and took off, leaving me to explain the situation to Piper. Something I wasn’t prepared to do yet. I hadn’t even given much thought to what I was going to tell her when she returned.
I wanted to understand what was going on between us better before I told her about it. Sure, there are the simple facts of the matter. We’re… involved. We have rules. Guidelines.
But at the heart of it all, we’re just having fun.
Can this really go anywhere? Can I see myself with Micah long term?
We may be more than a one-night stand at this point, but with his reputation, it won’t be long before he gets bored with me. He might not think it’s going to happen, not right now anyway, but it will.
When the right girl comes along, I’ll be pushed aside, forgotten, and whatever is going on between us will end. I’ll go back to focusing all my attention on my classes and graduation. Micah will add more notches on his bedpost.
Which is why when Piper texted me earlier, I was vague about everything.
Did I lie to her? Only by omission, I guess, but still it feels like I was lying.
PIPER: How are you? I haven’t heard from you since I left.
ME: I’m fine. Studying tonight.
PIPER: That’s all you ever do. Did you have fun camping?
ME: Yeah.
PIPER: How was the party?
ME: Fine.
PIPER: Are you sure you’re okay? I get the feeling something is wrong. Did something happen?
ME: Everything’s fine.
PIPER: You realize you’ve said ‘fine’ three times?
That made me pause because I don’t use that word often. I tried to eliminate it from my vocabulary a long time ago knowing that people tend to read more into things when you sayfineversus when you say good or okay. I can’t even remember the last time I caught myself falling back on that word.
