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You need to ease them into it, or you'll scare them away.
Which is what I've been trying to do for the last two years. Showing her that I care.
And at every turn, it feels like I've failed.
Being her friend isn't enough. Not for me. Not anymore.
I want to know her better. To be the person she calls when she needs to talk. To be the one holding her hand when she's scared.
But she doesn't seem to need or want any of that. She's a strong woman. Independent. She hasn't dated anyone since we've met. Doesn't rely on anyone for anything. Never asks for help.
In fact, she's the one who offers help. She's the shoulder people cry on.
"J, Max is waiting for us."
Brady practically pushes me inside the house. My feet feel like cement, each step harder to take than the last. But it's the ache in my heart that worries me most. The heaviness in my chest.
Because the girl I've been pining after, the one girl I've been holding out hope for, doesn't feel the same way I do. Two years wasted. Waiting. Dreaming. Praying.
Only to realize she probably only wants to be my friend. Because that's what we are. That's what we've always been.
An hour later, Max is standing on a lounge chair, Brady and I are sitting on the edge of the pool, and my feet are dangling in the water. It's a beautiful day out. Probably one of the last before fall sets in. Which is why I leave my feet in the water even though it’s cool, causing a shiver to run up my spine.
His speech is heartfelt. The crowd is eating out of his hand. Everyone except me. I've zoned out. My thoughts are of Piper. Of the look on her face as she was walking up the sidewalk. The tension in her shoulders. The strength she was mustering with each step she took, almost as if walking through that door pained her.
She said she was fine, but I knew it was a lie. I saw it in her eyes. Those gorgeous jade green eyes that I dream about at night. That I want to stare into for hours.
As soon as Max climbs down off his chair, I find myself seeking her out in the crowd. A slight panic sets in when I can't locate her, my heart steadily drumming a faster rhythm.
"She ran behind the pool house," Brady whispers in my ear. "Looked like she was crying. Want me to go talk to her?"
No, I don't. Brady could talk the pants off a nun if he wanted to. The last thing I want is for him to be the shoulder Piper cries on. With my luck, he'd have her naked and beneath him in a matter of minutes.
Not that he would do that to me.
He's the only person I would trust not to cross that line with her. I may not confess my feelings for her out loud, but he's seen it all. He somehow sees everything. And he's the kind of friend who understands, without having to hear the words, that a woman is off limits to him. All it takes is one look.
He called it with Willow years ago. Not that he would have been stupid enough to go after her. Max laid down the law with all his friends. Finn tried to listen, to honor his wishes, but in the end, their love prevailed.
Then earlier this summer, before Declan staked his claim on Kendall. That one wounded his pride a little, I think. He won't admit it, but I feel like he had a crush on her but was afraid to make his move.
None of us saw Micah and Alexis coming. None of us except Brady. He swore they were a thing the first night we were camping. I was certain he was wrong for once considering Alexis looked like she was ready to stab Micah in the eye just for glancing in her direction.
Still, he never said a word to anyone but me.
"I've got her." My words sound more confident than I feel.
Probably because I wish I had her. In more ways than I can count.
