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12
Facing the Past
"There you are,"Chloe says as I take the seat across from her.
Instead of our usual spot at the bar, since I'd rather not share my story with half the town, we're at the country club. Chloe's parents are members and made a reservation for us. Hopefully the few people sitting around us won't pay any attention to our conversation. I swear everyone in the bar takes an interest in us the moment we walk through the doors.
"Sorry. I forgot we were meeting here and drove to the bar on autopilot on accident."
It's the truth. I even walked inside and talked to Adam for a few minutes. When I asked if he knew where Chloe was, he reminded me where we were meeting. I felt like an idiot, but at least Adam had a good laugh at my expense.
Is being forgetful part of being pregnant? I hope not because I have a lot on my plate right now. Plus, I'm already experiencing other symptoms, and it wouldn't be fair to keep piling them on.
"I did the same thing!" Chloe exclaims. "When I pulled out of the driveway, I turned toward town. I got about halfway there and realized I was headed the wrong direction. I swear this baby is making me forgetful. The same thing used to happen all the time when I was pregnant with Lola."
Great. Itisa symptom.
"At least you didn't go inside like I did."
Chloe laughs as she reaches across the table and takes my hand in hers, admiring my ring. It's the first time she's seen it, and she takes her time inspecting it while we chat.
"He did good. The clarity is amazing," she remarks as the waiter approaches.
"Would you ladies like to start with a cup of our french onion soup?" he asks, refilling the water glass I've already drained.
His mention of soup causes my stomach to churn slightly. Chloe doesn't appear to be affected by food like I am. With Lola, if I remember correctly, everything made her want to puke. Certain smells and foods would send her sprinting to the bathroom. Not this pregnancy, apparently, since she orders the soup, eliciting a groan from me.
Let's hope the smell doesn't send me running.
After I place my order, a chef salad with a side of vinaigrette dressing, the waiter disappears only to return moments later with Chloe's soup. It smells amazing, and she sips on it while I tell her about Adam's proposal.
"So you didn't hesitate because of the baby, then?" she finally asks, piecing together the hints I was dropping.
"Partially. There's more to the story than just that, though. I've been in this situation before, shortly before we met, and it didn't end happily ever after."
Chloe's face remains stoic as I tell her everything about Liam, the baby, and my miscarriage. Picking at my salad after it arrives, I continue until I've shared with her every detail explaining why I freaked out.
The words flow easier than I imagined they would. My voice is strong, there's no hesitation as I move from one event to the next. By the time I'm done, Chloe's soup is long forgotten, and I’ve moved my salad around my plate but have barely eaten.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner, Addy? You've been dealing with this all on your own, and you didn't have to."
"Honestly, there were a few times I almost told you, but it was still too raw. I wasn't ready to face my demons. Finding out I was pregnant brought it all back to the forefront of my mind, and I'm finally being forced to face it. It's hard, but I'm managing. Adam has been amazing since I told him. This is a part of my past I may have taken to my grave with me if the situation were different."
"I'm glad you didn't," she says, interrupting me.
"Why?"
"You're an amazing person, Addy. I couldn't ask for a better friend. You've been by my side, helping me unconditionally, since we met. I only wish you had told me what was going on back then, so I could have returned the favor."
"The right moment to bring it up never presented itself. There was always something more important going on, or things were going so well I didn't want to disrupt the moment of peace."
"Promise me something. You'll never keep something like this to yourself again. You'll never be afraid to share what's on your mind, what's bothering you, or hurting you. Nothing is more important than your mental health, and that starts today. If you feel sad, embrace it. If you need a moment, take it. When you need to talk, call me. I'm here, and I know you know that. All you have to do is say the word. I'm never too busy for my best friend."
There's a smile on my face, and tears stain my cheeks. I was afraid she would be mad at me for keeping this a secret from her when I should have known she would be more concerned than anything.
This is why Wyatt and Chloe are perfect for each other. They both care unconditionally. They love wholeheartedly. They only want the best for everyone around them and will always find a way to bring a smile to your face, even if that smile brings tears with it.
"I promise," I say as the waiter clears out plates.
