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18
Goodbye, Liam
Luck must beon my side tonight because the house is dark when we arrive home. There's no sign of Liam or my mother. The first thing I do is check the Tupperware cupboard to make sure it's still a mess. Three things attack me in the darkness, and I leave them where they land.
"Come on, babe. Let's get you to bed."
Not wanting to argue, I let Adam help me up the stairs and into bed. It's been a long day, filled with unexpected surprises. Some welcome and some not. All will be there to deal with tomorrow. I'm sure that's not the last we'll be seeing of Liam.
"Can you ride with me tomorrow?" I ask Adam as we crawl into bed.
"I'll figure it out in the morning. If I can't ride with you, I'll find someone who will. I don't want you driving all that way alone."
"I'll only be alone on the way back."
"Babe, as much as you think that, you'll feel even more alone on the way there. Your mother is an empty person. I'm not sure if you see it or not, but she’s holding onto your past for a reason. It has a little to do with Liam but more to do with your father. You need to ask her about it, not that I think she'll give you a straight answer."
The sounds of Adam's voice lulls me to sleep, but his words haunt me in my dreams. It's been years since I've dreamed of my father. His death was sudden, and as hard as it was on me, it was even harder on my mother. It took her years to cope with it, and there's a chance she still might not be over it.
"You ready, Addy?"Liam asks as he grabs the keys from the counter.
"Did you pack my bathing suit?" I ask, looking over my checklist one last time.
"Yes, and everything else you wrote down. Now, come on. Your parents are waiting on us."
At twenty, most people wouldn't want to go on family vacation with their parents. Me? I'd never turn down two weeks in Hawaii, no matter who was going. The that my parents are paying for the trip makes it that much better. Oh, and Liam and I get to share a room.
My parents love him. It's a little ridiculous if you ask me. We've only been dating for six months and they invited him on our family vacation. The last guy I was serious with, my senior year of high school, wasn't allowed in the house unless my parents were home. They would never have invited him on vacation with us.
Sure, he was a little rough around the edges. And maybe I only dated him to get under their skin a little, but he was still a perfect gentleman in front of them, and they had no reason not to like him.
My father's always been a good judge of character, though. He can spot a fake a mile away. He says it's a gift. I think he's full of shit. He's only met Liam twice, and they act like they've known each other for years.
The thirty-minute drive to my parents’ takes us almost an hour with traffic. My mother's standing in the driveway on her phone when we arrive. Her back is to me, and as I step out of the car, I realize something is wrong.
Sirens blare in the distance over my mother's cries for help. Racing over to her, Liam is a blur as he runs past and into the house.
"Help him," she says over and over again between broken breaths.
Holding my mother while she cries, my own tears begin to fall. Watching the front door, I pray for my father to step through it. The sirens get louder along with my prayers. As they pull up in front of the house, Liam appears and motions for them to come inside.
My heart tells me they're too late. The look on Liam's face confirms my worst fears. My father is gone.
My face is stillmoist with tears when I wake. My heart is aching in my chest, the loss of my father all too real again. He was a strong man, but his body was weak. His heart specifically.
One minute he was loading luggage into the car, the next he was gripping his chest and falling to his knees. His last words to my mother slipped past his lips as he struggled to suck in a breath.
"Tell the kids I love them."
The kids.
Last I checked, there was only one of me. My mother claims he was referring to Liam as well. It was the only way she could explain what he said to her.
She's held onto that all these years. To the fact that my father loved Liam and welcomed him into our family. She refuses to let him go because, I think, in her mind, that means letting go of my father's final moments. Of her promise to tell us.
If there was a way to help her, I would. I get that this is why she's pushing me so hard, why she's constantly interfering in my life. She doesn't see that, though, and I need her to.
Maybe if she did, she'd let my father's memory rest in peace and she could move on with her life.
