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Dropping his arms, Josh lets out a huff of frustration and starts walking toward his truck with purpose. I follow, hoping he finally heard what I was trying to tell him. My words couldn’t have been any clearer, yet he seems to ignore them most of the time.
Pulling over less than a mile from my house, Josh throws his truck in park and turns to face me. He hasn’t said a word to me since I turned him down, and I can’t imagine that whatever is on the tip of his tongue is going to be something I want to hear.
“Look, Chloe. You may not know we’re meant to be together, but I do. I need you to believe that because I have needs. Needs that only you can fill. You may not think you’re ready yet, but you are. I see the way you respond to my touch, to the way I kiss your neck. These are signs. Your body wants more, and so do you, so I’m not sure why you keep telling me no.”
Yep, not something I wanted to hear, and as the minutes slowly tick by, all I can focus on is being grounded. At this point, I hope they give me a long sentence so I can avoid having this same conversation with him next week. How many ways, how many times, do I have to say it before he actually hears it?
“I get that you have needs and so do I, but I’m just not ready. I don’t know what to tell you. Yes, my body enjoys it when you kiss my neck, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to let go of my virginity because you make my heart race. It just doesn’t feel like the right time. I’m sorry, I know that’s not what you wanted to hear.”
“When will it be the right time then? Four months? A year? How long are you planning on making me wait, Chloe?” His frustration is evident as the rise in his voice causes me to shrink back against the door.
“I don’t know, but when the moment’s right, I will.”
Looking out the window, I successfully end our conversation. It won’t be the last time we have it because I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready. Josh is a great guy, most of the time, but if he were the one, I would know it. The fact that I know he’s not tells me more than I want to hear.
It makes me wonder why I’m wasting my time, and his.
“I’m fine, thanks,”I reply, my eyes locked with my mother’s. There’s a hint of warning in her stare that’s only meant for me to see. I wonder if she realizes how glaringly obvious it is to everyone at the table.
The waiter arrives, cutting my conversation with Josh short. He manages to scoot his chair closer to mine, our elbows almost touching. Five minutes into brunch, his hand brushes against my thigh and I can’t take it anymore.
“Thank you for a lovely afternoon, but I just remembered that I’m late for a meeting with the party planner,” I say, my attention directed towards Mr. and Mrs. Hansen as I stand. “It was nice seeing you again.”
“But Chloe, dear, you haven’t even touched your food. The meeting can wait,” my mother says, her voice as sweet as pie.
“I’ve lost my appetite,” I reply, looking over my shoulder at Josh before walking out.
Damn it! No car.
My options are to walk the five or six miles home, or I can call someone for a ride. Looking down at my phone, it’s close to when Lola should arrive. I’ll call Carmen and see if she can swing and pick me up. I may have to wait a while, but it’s better than walking in these heels.
Plus, I’ll get to see my sweet girl. She makes everything better.
“Hey, Carmen. Are you almost to town?” I ask as soon as she picks up.
“No, Miss Chloe. Miss Addy was supposed to call you. I’m not feeling well so she picked up Miss Lola and is bringing her to you. I hope that’s okay.”
Carmen sounds worried, more than likely because I wasn’t aware of the change in plans. If she knew Addy better, she would know how forgetful she is. She probably picked her up after her run this morning.
“That’s fine, Carmen. I’ll call Addy and see where they are. I hope you feel better.”
“Thank you, Miss Chloe.”
Quickly dialing Addy, I’m not surprised when Lola answers her phone after only the first ring.
“Momma!”
“Hey, sweet girl. Are you having fun with Aunt Addy?”
“Yes, momma. She took me to lunch and now we’re on a tour of the town.” Her excitement brings a smile to my face. Until realization sets in, anyway.
“What town, Lola? Where are you guys?”
“Fairview, momma. Where are you?” she asks, mimicking me like she always does. It’s her favorite thing to do, especially when I’m mad.
“Can I talk to Aunt Addy, please?”
“Aunt Addy,” Lola says, the phone still close to her ear. “Momma wants to talk to you. She sounds mad.”
