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13
Lucky
“I’m so screwed,”I say to Addy as she waves to Jones.
An hour. They sat at the picnic table and talked for an hour. She sighed at least a dozen times and found a way to touch him twice as many. Her hand on his shoulder, his arm, his thigh.
He wasn’t any less obvious, whispering in her ear causing her to giggle. Sliding closer every few minutes, even after there wasn’t any room left between them.
They exchanged phone numbers before he had to go. His “boss” called him asking where he was. He still had to find the mayor and return to work. Addison had easily distracted him from his task. I hope his boss is understanding. He should be if my inclination is right.
“What makes you think that?” she asks, her voice sing-song.
“That’s his best friend. His cousin.”
“Who’s cousin? Wait… seriously?” She sounds as freaked out as I am now, the happiness in her voice vanishing in an instant.
“Yeah. So, when he meets Lola tomorrow, he’s going to make the connection. My secret will be out and there will be no turning back. I’m going to have to tell Jones everything if I want him to keep my secret long enough for me to be the one to tell Wyatt.”
His name, slipping past my lips for the first time in longer than I can remember, causes me to suck in a deep breath. Holding it for a minute while I wait for my heart to stop racing, I let it out slowly and look to Addy for support. She’s watching Jones from a distance. I’m not even sure she realizes I spoke his name.
“You know things are going to be fine, right? I’m here if and when you need me.”
Her simple statement, as reassuring as it is, does nothing to ease the ache in my chest.
“I know.”
“Telling him is going to lift a huge weight off your shoulders.”
“I know.”
“And if Adam tells him, you’re going to regret it.”
She called him Adam. I haven’t heard anyone call him that in a long time. Even his Aunt Becky called him Jones, which I always thought was a little weird. Wyatt said the only person who called him Adam was Sawyer. When she died, he started going by Jones.
One more thing that was only for Sawyer.
Until now. Until Addison. She’s changing everything for him.
“Addy, I know.”
“So go, find him, and tell him yourself. Before Jones makes the connection. There are enough things in life you’ll live to regret. Don’t let this become one of them.”
Go find him. Now? No. I’m not ready yet. I have until tomorrow night. I have until Jones lays eyes on Lola. Even then, I can attempt to keep them apart. Maybe he won’t see her. Maybe she’ll be in bed by the time he arrives. I could luck out.
Luck has never been on my side before; it’s about time it showed up.
“You’re not going to do it are you?” Unable to speak the words, I shake my head and she pulls me in for a hug. “You’ve got this, you know that. You’re stronger than you know. I see it every day and I see it in the little princess you’re raising. Find that inner strength, Chloe. Dig down deep, and once you have it, hold on tight. Keep it close until you feel like you need to use it.”
Promising to try, Addy and I continue our walk through the park. It’s almost time for dinner, but I’m not ready to head back to my parents’ house yet. I need to clear my head first. I need to formulate a plan. I need some time to myself to think things through.
In an attempt to distract myself from my shitty situation, I point out a few things I would do differently for the festival and Addy lets me have my moment. I think she can tell that I’m stalling the inevitable.
I’m sick of thinking about it.
I want it to be over, yet I’m scared of what will happen once it is.
He’s going to hate me, of that much I’m sure. I would if I were him. There are times, when I’m alone in bed at night thinking about Wyatt, I hate myself for the way things ended. So much of it was beyond my control, but in the end, I’ll be the one taking responsibility for every choice, even those that were made for me.
