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We haven’t talked about what happens next. How to raise Lola together. She’s going to want to see Wyatt, and he’s going to want to be a part of her life. I would never want to get in the way of that.
Will he move to Denver?
Do I need to move home?
Can we make it work long distance? Every other weekend?
God, that makes it seem like we’re divorced. I had friends who spent every other weekend with parents. It sucked for them. I don’t want that for Lola.
Ideally, we’ll live in the same city, or at least closer than we do now.
She deserves to have both of us in her life full time. We need to find a way to make that happen for her. No matter how things work out between us.
If there’s anything on my mind right now, that’s it. Is there still an us?
After dinner, I tuck Lola into Wyatt’s bed, promising her that I’ll be in soon. I want to make sure I’m not putting Wyatt out by staying here. I can go back to my parents’, but I don’t want to and I don’t want to leave Lola.
“Hey,” I say, taking a seat across from him in the living room. “Can we talk?”
Nodding, we leave Addy and Jones cuddled up in front of the fire and head out onto the porch. Just as we’re about to sit down, fireworks go off above us.
“Those must be from my parents’ house,” I comment as another one pops over the pond.
“Your parents are something else,” he says.
“They really are. Can I ask you something?” Wyatt nods so I continue. “How did you get this land?”
My parents’ land. A piece of our history.
“Your father started selling off bits and pieces of land a few years back. When this one came on the market, I bought it.”
“Why?”
“Why, what? Why did I buy it?”
“Yeah.”
Wyatt’s silent for a few minutes as more fireworks begin to explode above us. When he finally answers me, I realize I wasn’t prepared to hear what he had to say.
“This is our place. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else owning it. It didn’t feel right. Even though I was still pissed at you and didn’t understand what happened, I knew that I had to buy the land. I had to build the house. I had to create a life that was worthy of you.”
“Worthy of me?”
“I wanted your parents to accept me. I knew if that was ever going to happen, I had to do something big. There had to be money involved. I had to be worthy of being a part of your family.”
“Jesus, Wyatt. My parents are fucked up when it comes to priorities. Money isn’t everything, I hope you know that. Look what it’s done to them. It’s made them classless. They forced me to do something that not only hurt me and you but it hurt our daughter. She missed out getting to know you. You missed the chance to watch her grow up. That’s what money does to people. It drives them crazy and makes them believe they have power over other people.
“Don’t aim to be accepted by people like my parents. Just be a good person. Love unconditionally. Perfection is overrated. It’s the imperfect things in life that are worth more than money.”
“And what in your life is imperfect?”
There’s only one thing I can think of when it comes to imperfection.
“You. Our relationship. The way things turned out. I’ve tried to move on, but my heart won’t let me, Wyatt. I know you don’t want to hear that, and I’m sorry, but it’s true. What we had was perfect. What happened was shitty and ruined all that perfection. Our story, the love we shared, is imperfect beyond belief, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. It gave us our daughter.”
Wyatt nods, his silence bringing back the only memory I have of him where he was speechless.
I’m panting,heavily. My body is still convulsing, covered in a sheen of sweat.
