AllFreeNovel
Share Us
When it's just us, in this room, or at the coffee shop, alone, things are perfect. I feel normal. But parties like last night have my palms sweating and me ready to jump out a window after five minutes.
She deserves to know my secret, but when I open my mouth to confess the darkness that lives inside me, the words won't come out.
"I want you."
"That's not enough."
"It could be."
"No, it couldn't. Because I don't want to be a secret. I don't want to be the girl you only acknowledge behind closed doors."
"It's not like that." But my protest feels as weak as it sounds. It is like that, in a way.
"Are you ashamed of me?"
"Hell, no!" My scream echoes off the walls, and I send up a silent prayer that Julian didn't hear. The best thing about our apartment is that the bedrooms don't share a wall. That doesn't mean sound doesn't travel down the hall, though. If he's awake, he heard my shout.
"Then what is it? Do you just want to stay friends?"
"We're already friends, dove. And no, I don't want to be just your friend. I've never wanted to be just your friend."
Leaning in close, I press my lips to hers, but she doesn't kiss me back. I lean back to look down at her and see her eyes watering with tears.
"I can't be more than your friend if you can't give me what I want."
"Mya, I—"
"I'll become attached, Brady. I'll be more invested in this than you. And when things end, I'll be the one with the broken heart, and you'll have to use the rest of those condoms with someone else."
Mya pushes against my chest as she rolls away from me. As soon as she's standing, she sets the box of condoms on my nightstand, strips my clothes off, and slips back into her short skirt and tube top.
All I can do is stare at her, my mouth hanging open. I have no idea how to convince her she's wrong. That I have no intentions of hurting her. Because the truth of her words hit me deep.
Knowing I could end up hurting her.
Something I'm not willing to do. Not now, not ever. Even if it means I can't have her.
With her heels dangling from her fingertips, she asks me to take her home.
After getting dressed, I snag Max's keys off my dresser. I motion to the Kappa keychain and explain how we got here last night.
"You were passed out. I wasn't about to put you on my bike like that, so I convinced Max to let me borrow his car. He didn't ask too many questions. He knows I wouldn't leave my bike unless I had to."
"Did he drive your bike home then?"
"Not a chance in hell." Opening my bedroom door, I motion for Mya to go first, but she shakes her head. Leading the way, I'm surprised to find the kitchen and living room empty. Gathering my bike keys and wallet from the bowl Julian and I drop our shit in when we get home, I escort Mya out the front door.
Just as I'm about to close it behind me, I hear Julian's bedroom door creak open as he calls my name. Not that I stop to explain where I'm going. Or give him any indication I hear him.
The ride to the Zeta house is silent.
There are a million things I want to say to Mya, most of them surround me begging her to reconsider, but instead I flip through the radio stations in search of a song that will give me a sign of what to do.
I don't find one before I pull up in front of the house.
Mya exits the car without saying goodbye.
I sit at the curb and watch her walk up the path of the large, ornate house through Max's tinted windows. Once she's safely inside, I shift into gear. I'm about to pull away when I notice I'm being watched through an upstairs window. The curtains are drawn back slightly, but I can't make out a face.
