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Digger:If you need a shoulder to cry on after the ceremony, I’m all yours. See you at six.
Lily and Liam are going to stand up for Digger and Harper, along with Ethan and me. Which means I’ll have a lot of time near him in a very romantic setting. I can only pray that some of that optimism and happiness will flow through the two of us, if not this evening, tomorrow.
The school bus meets me just as I pull up in front of our house. After a quick hello hug for each of the boys, I remind them of our plans for the evening. “You can play for an hour while I make supper, but then we’re going to have to eat quickly, shower and get dressed for the rehearsal, okay?”
They race off to play, giving me some quiet so I can think. I make quick work of throwing together a tuna casserole and some salad. After it’s in the oven, I hurry upstairs to shower. Twenty minutes later, I’m dressed in a violet floral print dress that I bought at Target a couple of years ago. It’s not stunning like the red dress Ethan bought me (which I'm saving for tomorrow), but I look all right in it. I stare at myself in the mirror and realize that I look more than all right. I look great.
One of the conclusions I’ve come to since Harper unloaded on me is that I really do have an inferiority complex. Somehow, over the years, I’ve decided that everybody leaves me because I’m not good enough. I’ve recently concluded that their fates had nothing to do with me. Accepting that as truth has opened me up to thinking that maybe I deserve more in life than I’d previously let myself believe.
This realization has allowed me to hope that things don’t have to be over between me and Ethan. I know he flirted with that supermodel at the baseball game, but in hindsight, it’s very possible he was doing that to get even with me for rejecting him. If that’s so, I can’t really blame him. I was awful to him the night before.
I hurry to plate up the food and call the kids to the table. We eat quickly and then I order them off to shower while I go back up to my bathroom to do my hair and makeup. When all is said and done, I feel like a queen. “You got this Moira. Go get your man.”
“Come on, crew!” I call to the boys from the top of the stairs. “We need to get going.”
As I walk down the stairs, my eyes settle on my living room, and I look at it through new eyes. This house is only my home because the people I love live here. At the beginning of the summer, I was ready to sell and move somewhere newer with less to take care of.
If I’m honest with myself, that placecouldbe Ethan’s house in California. A weird rush of energy jolts through me. Once again, Harper is right. I love Ethan, and if that means living in California, then why the heck wouldn’t I do it? The kids already think it’s the best place on Earth.
Once we arrive at the church, the boys run inside like their pant legs are on fire. They’re beyond excited to be part of their uncle’s wedding.
Instead of following behind them, I sit in the car and think. I’m so nervous to see Ethan again, my stomach feels like it’s become home to a swarm of butterflies.
How do I go about telling him that I’ve changed my mind about us? How do I apologize for all the horrible things I’ve said? And finally, what if he doesn’t want me back?
I don’t know how long I sit there, but I don’t pop out of my trance until I hear a sharp knock on the window. It’s Digger.
“Earth to Moira, come in, Moira. It’s time to get inside.”
I hurry to open the door and let him help me out. “Hey, groom,” I tease. “Bet you never thought this day would happen.”
“You know I didn’t.” He offers me his arm. “But life has a way of opening doors when you let it.” He opens the church door with a flair to emphasize his point.
“I’m beginning to see that,” I tell him.
Digger excuses himself so he can go talk to the preacher, leaving me standing alone at the back of the church. I inhale deeply in hopes of building my fortitude to face what’s about to come. The door opens behind me, and when I turn, my gaze lands directly on Ethan. He stops in his tracks and looks at me and I see a world of pain in his eyes.
I offer a silent prayer. “Please, Gran, Dad, Mom, Everett, anyone who’s ever loved me up there, please don’t let Ethan walk out of my life …”
I don’t have a chance to talk to him because Harper walks up the stairs leading from the basement and spots us.
“Hey, you.” She hurries toward me and takes my hand in hers. “How are you doing?”
“Who cares how I’m doing? How areyou?”
She inhales deeply before releasing it. “I’m better than I’ve ever been in my whole life.” She reaches her other hand out to Ethan, who reluctantly allows himself to be drawn into our little circle. “If brides got to make a wish, mine would be that you two find the same happiness that I have with Digger.”
Ethan clears his throat and instead of looking at me, he glances down at his feet. “Thanks, Harper, but I think we need to focus on the matter at hand.”
Digger and the preacher appear in the vestibule. “Everyone ready?”
Harper nods. “Let’s do this.”
The preacher has a quick chat with my boys about how to properly serve as ushers, then he has them go up to sit in one of the pews near the front. He directs Digger and Ethan to the front of the church and tells Lily, Liam, Harper, and me to wait here until the music starts. The entire time, I feel like I’m holding back a wall of emotion that’s ready to burst.
When the first strains of “Trumpet Voluntary” begin to play, Harper gestures for her kids to start walking up the aisle. Liam takes his sister’s hand, and they start their slow march.
When we reach the altar, I stand behind Lily and Ethan goes to stand behind Liam and Digger. I look at Ethan and am surprised to see that he’s not looking at the bride. He’s watching me. Chills of something—Hope? Excitement? Dread?—run up my arms to the base of my neck as I stare back at him. It’s impossible to read his expression.
