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"A voice." It takes everything in me to not release the nervous laugh bubbling up in my chest. I sound like a crazy person.
"What kind of voice?"
Tasha leaves my side to walk to a rolling table a few feet away. She pulls it over and climbs onto the bed, bringing the table over our laps. It's covered in books. The kind so old and well-loved I know they can only be shifter books.
"Dominic and I have been splitting research duties," Tasha explains as she starts to flip through one of the books. "I made him bring me a stack of books to work through while I sat with you, and I made him take library breaks to do his part." She glances over at me with a grimace. "You should see that man hover; it was borderline obsessive. I lasted about an hour with him watching you breathe before I kicked him out."
She shudders like she's remembering it. It's hard for me to imagine Dominic really caring that much.
Though, I guess thanks to whatever forces decided to corrupt my visit to the Luna Sovereign, I now know why he put so much energy into keeping me here. It was by fate's design that he can't let go.
I need to remind him that meant nothing the first time around. He seems confused, but I don't share his confusion. He made his decision, and he doesn't get to take that back no matter how many times the fates might try to intervene.
Add to that the fact that he's caught a glimpse of my family's history. I could never trust him even if I believed he really regretted his decision. I don't want a man who deems me worthy because of my legacy.
So, ignoring Tasha's comments about Dominic, I change the topic to something I’m far more interested in. "There was a book at the Luna Sovereign's that talked about double-fated mates, have you seen anything like that?" I ask my sister, eyeing the spines for signs of familiarity even though nothing stands out.
"Not that I remember. I think Dominic's been looking at most of the fates-related books. I was looking for family history." She looks a little sheepish.
"It's okay," I tell her, "I'm curious too."
"It's weird, Tess. There are all these pictures, and plenty of references to our ancestors, but nothing concrete. The Luna was right about our family being founders, but beyond that it's almost like… they've been scrubbed from the actual shifter history."
And the questions just keep piling up.
Tasha sighs, her gaze wandering as if she has momentarily disappeared to somewhere else entirely for the moment. I know without a word that she's thinking of Jimmy. They shared a love for history—he would have gone wild finding out about our family's history. It's amazing the two of them didn’t stumble upon it sooner.
The guilt starts eating at me all over again. Hesitantly, I reach over and take her hand, squeezing it in mine, desperately trying to tell her wordlessly how unbelievably sorry I am.
I want to believe she's willing to forgive me since she's here, but a big part of me still doesn't believe I even deserve that. There is no amount of suffering on my part that can ever erase what I stole from my sister. My perfect, selfless sister.
"He almost made it, you know," she says softly enough that I strain to hear.
"Tasha…"
"After you got Callum to safety, he was able to fight back properly. He might have even made it home after Dominic's pack came to help, but one of the younger wolves made a mistake. He never would have been able to live with himself if he hadn't saved the kid. Just barely eighteen, he really had no business being in the middle of a fight like that."
Finally, my sister cracks. I cling tighter to her as she folds in half, sobbing as her pain catches up with her. I'm torn between comforting her and digesting what she just said.
I thought for sure Jimmy was done from the moment I pulled Callum away, but now Tasha is telling a very different version of events.
Did I run for no reason?
You would never have known who we are if you had stayed,my wolf stubbornly points out. Clearly, she's on team runaway. Of course she would be, plus I can feel the grudge she's holding against me for rejecting our mate.
I've only been awake a short time, and already it feels a little like I'm spinning out.
"I'm sorry," Tasha blubbers.
"Don't be." I try to wrap my arms around her better, but the IV in my arm is in the way. I scowl at it like it's personally affronted me.
I've never been much of a fan of pack doctors. I blame Tevin for getting hurt so often when I was a pup, dragging me in and out of the medical ward all the time after we first lost our parents.
I shake my head to clear it. I need to focus on my sister.
Tasha cries for a long time. I can feel silent tears rolling down my own cheeks, but I hold back the swelling tide of emotion that threatens to spill over. This is her moment of grief. I vow to have mine only when she's not around. The last thing she needs is to feel like she has to worry about my grief over hers.
My grief isn't only for Jimmy. It's also for my sister, who I abandoned when she needed me—and for nothing.
