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I stand and start toward the woods.
“Tasha?” Paxton sloshes through the muddy yard toward me. “What are you doing?” He stops next to me and stares out into the woods in the same direction I was just looking. I study his face to see if there’s a spark of anything there. Any sort of recognition that someone is out there.
I didn’t imagine it, did I? Those were a woman’s eyes.
“What is it?” He’s looking at me now, his mouth pulled tight. This is it. The first test of how much I’m willing to trust him now that I’ve bonded us for life. Even if I were to run right now, my wolf would find a way to drag me back to him. Do I want to fight that? Would Jimmy want me to?
“I saw someone,” I admit finally.
He’s instantly on high alert. “Another rogue? Dominic’s been calling in reinforcements. No one should be able to get this close now.” He grabs my elbow and drags me up against him as if he alone can protect me from anything that’s thrown at us.
“I don’t know, Paxton. Maybe I’m just imagining things after all of the stress of today.” It’s hard to believe this day isn’t over yet after all that’s happened. “What’s Dominic planning to do with Nick?”
“He sent a few of his guard women to get Nick as far away from here as possible. I didn’t ask too many questions; I trust your sister’s mate to look out for this family.”
This family. He claims all of us so readily despite how easily he denies his own flesh and blood.
“What’s that face for?” He cups my chin and tilts my head up as he turns to study me.
“Do you want kids, Paxton?” For some reason, it’s suddenly all I can think about. And the second his face falls, nose scrunching with distaste, everything in me withers. I pull out of his grasp and turn on my heel, striding toward the road even though I shouldn’t be the one running away when this is my house.
“Come on, Tasha. Wait.” He touches my elbow, and he might as well have lit a fuse of dynamite with how quickly it lights up my anger.
I whirl on him and shove my finger into his hard chest.Watch yourself, my wolf warns, but I shake her off. “I don’t know what the hell fate was thinking giving me someone like you. Apparently, I’ve done something to anger the fates, though, because you’re not a second chance, you’re a punishment.”
His face goes completely blank.
“I was in heat and trying to get pregnant when myrealmate died. That’s the life I wanted. I wanted to raise pups and live in the heart of a pack and be part of something bigger than my own wolf. My dream is your nightmare.” My voice cracks. “You should go.”
Are you crazy? Take that back.My wolf grows restless with panic.Don’t be so foolish. If our mate leaves now that you’ve marked him, we won’t survive it.
Maybe I wouldn’t. But at least I wouldn’t have to wake up every day knowing we both settled for lives we didn’t want. Being the Luna Sovereign is already only a consolation prize, and Paxton’s made it clear he doesn’t want to commit to anything more than our bond apparently.
I feel like my heart is cracking wide open. I need to shift.
“Tasha, don’t—“ It doesn’t matter how quickly he tries to rush the words out, I shift faster than he can finish his thought.
I’m not stupid. I realize I can’t go far without being in serious danger. If Nick was telling the truth and some human is out there offering half a million dollars for someone to bring him a Jarreau, I can only imagine how many wolves might be willing to take a chance for that kind of money. I need to run though. I’m just not prepared for the pain my shift brings.
All of the emotions I’ve been compartmentalizing break free with my shift. I’m flooded with grief for what I’ve lost and guilt for the mark I’ve left on a wolf I’m not compatible with. In fact, our incompatibility is the whole reason wolves are even allowed the option of rejecting a mate. I shouldn’t have worried about Paxton’s reaction and just rejected him when I had the chance. It would have saved us a world of hurt because now there’s no walking away without breaking our wolves.
You don’t have to do that. There’s such a thing as compromise.My wolf’s snark is no comfort. I don’t know how to compromise with someone whose worst nightmare is my dream.
It’s not like I don’t get it. His parents saw kids as pawns to be used in a play for power. Of course Paxton wouldn’t want pups of his own. But when I picture the rest of my life… Compromising would mean sacrificing family—the one thing I’ve always wanted more of.
I can’t outrun these problems, but I try anyway. I can hear Paxton shift and follow me, but he lets me go, following closely enough to intervene if I find trouble but not so close that I feel like he’s hovering. Still, I hesitate when I start to get too close to the area where I know Dominic’s team is watching the perimeter of the grounds.
It’s okay,Paxton mind links.I’ve got you, I promise.
I shake my head and turn my paws back toward the house. It’s one thing to put myself in danger, it’s another thing entirely to put everyone else at risk. Dominic’s shifters would intervene and so would Paxton. I don’t need to risk their lives over a temper tantrum. I’ve seen the aftermath of rogues ripping into a pack. I won’t do that to these shifters, who are here solely to protect me.
We’re in this together, all of us. It’s that thought that stops me in my tracks, my paws digging into the mud as I grind to a stop.
What? Did you see something?Paxton stops protectively by my side, his head darting from side to side looking for an imminent threat.Did the person you saw come back? Tell me what it is, Tasha.
It’s a ghost.
Except there isn’t a ghost physically here in front of us—she’s in my memory, reminding me of the warning she gave.“There’s a war brewing, and living alone means fighting alone.”I’ve been fixating on what she said about my instincts to the point that I forgot how poignant of a warning that was.
