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Regardless of his intentions, the damage is already done and I can’t let him see these internalized emotions burst forth. I need to get out of here. “It’s forgotten.” My words come out strong and sure despite my racing thoughts. I school my face into one of pure steel, not allowing him to see past my wall, the last round of defenses shielding my heart.
Turning on my heel, I stride for the exit, my steps sure and confident, heels clacking loudly against the hard floor.
“Liv, wait.” His footsteps sound behind me, hurried as he rushes to catch up to me. Not slowing my stride, I send a scathing look over my shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. He would not make me run. I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a strong, capable woman, and I will stay composed until I get to my room.
His eyes widen at my look, his shoulders slumping in defeat. Realizing he won’t be able to win this today. His eyes plead with me to stay, to fix the misunderstanding that happened between us. Eyes I melted at with just a look a few days ago, so warm and caring, not pained and pleading. Too bad I’m too broken to care. Too broken to put my heart on the line.
Pushing open the doors, a rush of cold air washes over me, strengthening my resolve. I let the door close harshly behind me, echoing through the corridor—the finality ringing in my ears like the toll of a bell marking the end.
* * *
I place the brush down,straightening the few loose pieces of my dark brown hair, before pulling in a deep breath. Strengthening myself for the night to come. How on earth am I supposed to make it through tonight when I feel like a hole has been ripped into my chest. Deep and dark enough it would swallow everything in its wake.
I straighten my skirt, deciding to wear the outfit Adrian bought for me on my first day here. The memory brings a faint smile to my lips. Too bad he stole the panties that went with it. Otherwise, I would’ve worn those too, just to tease him.
I pick up my phone to call Nelle for a bit of therapy. She always knows how to pull me from my darker thoughts.
“Hey girl, hey,” she sings into the phone, answering on the second ring.
“Hey,” I respond softly. Letting my mask fall. My genuine emotions surface.
“Uh oh, what’s going on, my love?” Her voice is so bubbly and sweet. I wish she were beside me right now. To hug me, then slap some sense into me.
I tell her about this afternoon, filling her in on every detail. She doesn’t hold any punches when it comes to calling me out on my bullshit, and she already knows about the guys plaguing my existence, since I’ve spoken to her almost every night this week.
“So, you freaked out?” Her words sound more like a statement than a question.
“Yes.” I sigh, wanting to put my head in my hands. The only thing stopping me right now is my full face of makeup. This girl did not just spend over an hour on hair and makeup just to mess it all up. The process was therapeutic, taking me from being a stone-cold bitch to sad and regretful when I put my brushes away.
“So replaying the situation in your head …” Her voice trails off, wanting me to admit it myself rather than her spelling it out for me.
“Okay, fine, I guess I maybe sort of overreacted. Is that what you want to hear?” I huff out a frustrated breath, really not appreciating the harsh dose of reality she’s throwing at me right now.
“It’s not what I want to hear. It’s what you need to hear.” That bitch, why does she always need to be right. I say as much to her—her laugh ringing like tinkling bells across the line.
“That’s why you love me.”
“Gah, you know I do, boo,” I coo back to her. “What am I supposed to do now?” My voice trails off, all traces of amusement gone. I go to chew my lip before remembering the lipstick. Instead, deciding to tap my foot on the ground in an attempt to work off some of my nervous energy. Frustrated that I’m unable to do my regular nervous tick.
“This is what you’re going to do.” Nelle pauses, building up the dramatic effect. Which, of course, works. I move to my bed, perching on the edge. “You’re going to go on your date, and you’re going to have a great time.”
I pause, expecting her words to be more profound. “Okay …” I urge her to continue.
“Don’t think about it. You owe it to yourself to have a great time tonight. Then you’ll figure everything out. It might work. It might not. Both of your emotions were high, you reacted harshly, but that’s okay. Explain it to him and be honest.”
I rub my chest, an aching sensation spreading there at the thought that it might not work out. I sigh, replaying her words. She’s right, like always. I need to put this aside for the night. It wouldn’t be fair to Adrian to go into the date upset about another man.
He deserves so much more than that—my stomach twists in anxiety at leaving the situation with Kyros like I had. Nelle was most likely right. It would be best for both of us to cool off and come back with level heads. If he even wants to speak to me again after the scene I caused. A sharp pain hits my chest at the thought, like someone just plunged a blade between my ribs, cutting me to my core.
“Stop it.” I hear across the line, the noise startling me from my thoughts.
“Stop what?” I ask innocently, knowing it will be in vain. I can never get anything past Nelle.
“Don’t play little miss innocent with me, Olivia Rothchild. You know exactly what you’re doing,” she chastises. She only ever uses my full name when she is literally done with my shit.
“Okay, fine. You got me. I will follow everything you say, oh great one Penelope Warner.”
She gasps sharply at me, using her full name. “You take that back, bitch.” Her words come out in a rush.
