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“You know what I’m talking about, you’ve barely spoken to me since I’ve been back. All I get are growled commands. Where’s the banter, Maximus? Are you afraid of something?”
“I’m not afraid of anything.” He grits his teeth, crossing his arms over his chest as though it’s supposed to convince me of anything.
“Oh ya, then why did you do it? Why did you lie to me, make me believe it was all a lie, that even yourself included, wanted nothing to do with me?” I mimic his stance, not holding back any of my punches, verbally at least.
“Why did you do it?” He throws back at me in a derisive tone, answering my question with one of his own. I blink in surprise, not understanding the look of resentment he gives me.
“Why did I do what?” I cross my arms over my chest and narrow my gaze on him in an attempt to hide my confusion. I’m supposed to be mad at him, not the other way around.
“Because you said—”
“I know what I said.” He growls, cutting off my response. He steps closer. I take a cautious step back, and then another. But he keeps advancing. Before I know it, my heel connects with the marble wall, and I fall back the last few inches until my back smacks against the marble wall too. I let out a small squeak of surprise.
“Why did you believe it?” He takes one last step towards me, so close his chest lightly brushes against mine. I fight to keep my breathing steady, to stop the pleasure that unfurls within me at the contact. My nipples lightly pebble despite my attempts.
He slides his arms up the wall, coming to rest just above my shoulders, effectively caging me in. I glare up at him from beneath my brows and keep my arms at my side. My hands clench tightly into fists, resisting my first instinct to splay them across his broad, muscular chest.
He doesn’t wait for my response, choosing to continue with his line of interrogation. “You must see the way they look at you, like you hung the moon and the stars. Like you’re the answer to every question they’ve ever asked.”
“You must see the way I look at you.” His voice trails off, and he closes his eyes. Taking a deep breath to steel himself. His emerald-green eyes soften as his lids blink open, the anger replaced with a look of vulnerability. One I doubt he’s shown many others before.
My eyes widen in shock at his words, not expecting the confession to slip past his lips. My brows knit together as I observe.
“No, I don’t.” The words leave my lips on a reflex, and I swallow down the sour taste they leave in my mouth. It’s true, at least, I thought it was at the time. I hadn’t truly seen the looks they gave me. Sure, I could tell they were attracted to me. But what does that mean? Attraction fades.
Given my inexperience with relationships, how on earth was I supposed to discern their looks of desire from genuine emotions? My lips purse and push down the annoying voice inside me, telling me their actions showed it. Well, maybe they did, and I know I need to work on tearing down my walls and fighting back the urge to flee.
“That’s bullshit Olivia, and you know it.” His fist smashes into the marble wall beside me, sending tiny pebbles of debris cascading over my shoulder. I don’t even flinch at the outburst, knowing that he would never lay a finger on me.
Rage burns in his eyes before his lids firmly shut, and he pulls in a ragged breath. His chest expands, firmly pressing against mine. I conceal the shudder of pleasure that travels up my spine at contact. Suppressing the urge to run my hands soothingly over his shoulders, massaging the tight muscles there.
“I’ve tried to tell myself to leave countless times, to walk away, but I can’t do it. I can’t live without you, but I can’t have you, and it tears me apart inside.” He grits his teeth, fighting against the words that spill from his lips, as though each one that falls chips away another piece of that impenetrable shield he has erected around him. My hand itches to brush against his skin, sweeping back the stray pieces of black hair that slipped into his vision at the confession.
Despite the urge to comfort him, my annoyance grows at his words. The voice at the back of my mind screaming at me to run before my heart can get hurt, pipes back up, making me squirm uncomfortably. I take a calming breath, knowing I need to stay strong. No more running. That Liv fled the moment Adrian left me broken in the sand. I wince at the memory but push it aside, needing to focus on Maximus now.
“Why can’t you have me?” My voice takes on an unbidden growl, initially meaning for the words to come out soft. But my irritation grows at the thought. At the sheer audacity this man has to admit something so heart wrenching, so absolutely absurd.
“You want to know why I did it?” he asks, and I blink in surprise at the sudden shift in topic. I hadn’t expected him to admit to me why he filled my head with lies.
“I see the way you look at Adrian, how your smell lingered on him the night of the attack.” A growl slips past his lips at the memory, his eyes clouding over for a moment before he refocuses on me. “I see the way you take comfort in Kyros, hell even the way you gaze endearingly at Mateo’s nonsense. I want all of that, I want to be the one you look at like that, even though I can’t have you.”
“Why can’t you have me?” I ask again through gritted teeth. Unsure whether I want to kiss him or slap him at this moment. His lips only a hair’s breadth away from mine. He messed with my head all because he was jealous? I really want to be upset with him, but some small part of me finds it endearing. I don’t have a chance to examine that too closely before Maximus responds.
“Because all I do is destroy.” He snarls, leaning closer into me, his warm breath assaulting my face. “I break everything I touch and watch it crumble between my fingers.”
I pause at his use of imagery, remembering the feeling of the sand slipping between my fingers as Adrian’s form dissipated out of sight. The loss and anguish that shattered my heart into pieces. I wouldn’t let him do the same thing. I wouldn’t let his stubborn pig-headed ways break him, break us. Despite how much I want to deny it, if I lost him, any of them, it would destroy me.
I raise my hands against his chest, pushing roughly against his firm pecs as my mind grows hazy with his proximity. I need to put some distance between us to keep the edge of anger spurring me forward. Otherwise, I might just lose myself in the feeling of my body molding against his.
He moves back a few inches, giving me enough room to pull in a deep breath, but keeps his arms caged around me. I rest my hands against his chest, letting his solid weight steady me.
“I’m not an object, not something you can break. I’m a person, hell, I’m a god, just like you, I can hold my own.” My confidence is bolstered by every word, not realizing I hadn’t truly accepted the fact that I’m a god until this moment.
“Oh, can you?” he chuckles sardonically. A cruel smirk plays on his lips, provoking me. “Could’ve fooled me.”
At his words, I summon all of my strength and push against him again. To my surprise, he flies back, the force launching him across the mat and sending him sliding across the floor on his ass.
I suppress the urge to rush over to him. Instead, I compose myself, acting as though I definitely meant to do that. His eyes widen in surprise for a moment before he quickly schools his face. His eyes narrowing on me in a glare as he props himself up on his forearms.
